How to Not Feel Deprived

It’s no secret that I’ve had some health issues and that making peace with food was my doorway into resolving them.

At the worst of it, I was on eight prescription medications a day, four of which were to control my chronic acid reflux. I’ve also suffered from debilitating pain and “IBS” for years. And eczema all over my body. Blood shot eyes, allergic shiners and up to eight sinus infections a year. Along with high cholesterol, hypoglycemia and my hair falling out.

And this was all after I lost the weight.

My body had been asking me for years to start listening.

And when I first set out on my path to make peace with food, I didn’t really know what it meant to listen to my body. But, I did know that I was tired of feeling deprived when I was on diets.

But, as my personal work progressed, I knew that my poor self-care, and ultimately, my poor health, were symptoms just like the dieting, the binge eating and the over-exercising were.

And, it became evident to me that what my body had to say was important.

So, for a couple years, I’ve been on a serious quest to learn what it is my body (instead of my mind!) truly wants. Among other things, I’ve been looking at how I move my body, how I unwind, and how I generally go about my life. I’ve been experimenting with different dietary theories and seeing what my body had to say about them. (And not just the number on the scale.)

On the food front, I’d always come back to the same place. But I went round and round because what I found worked for my body was completely against conventional wisdom. I was even told my some that eating the way I do was diet mentality.

Ironic, no? I help people overcome diet mentality for a living!

Eventually, I started seeing a Naturopath and she confirmed what my body had been telling me the whole time. And then blood work would come back and, once again, confirm what my body had been saying.

But I resisted.

I couldn’t believe what my body was telling me. I didn’t trust it because I was choosing to believe what conventional wisdom (and some of my trainings) had taught me. I kept thinking I needed some sort of outside source to make what my body had to say OK.

I believed that my body couldn’t be right since it didn’t line up with what other people thought was right.

Story of my life.

And so, I would eat {insert random food here} so I wouldn’t “feel deprived.”

I’d been taught that no food should be off limits and that I had permission to eat everything. In fact, that was what I was teaching my clients, as well!

But something was missing for me. There was a piece of this puzzle that just wasn’t lining up.

And my health was just getting worse and worse.

My body was begging me to listen.

After even more testing, a new doctor and plenty of space to listen and trust, I’m paying attention to my body on a level I never have before. I’ve not only been looking at how I feel when I eat certain foods but also what all of the various testing has had to say about avoiding “deprivation.”

Frankly, my body doesn’t like it.

I decided that what I really needed to do what examine what it means to feel deprived.

Where does feeling deprived really come from, anyway?

Most in the “normal eating” or “intuitive eating” community will say that feeling deprived comes from making a food “off limits” by way of rules. Or, dieting.

But, it is actually way more simple than that.

Feeling deprived comes from your thoughts. What you are eating doesn’t actually matter at all.

If I tell myself I can’t have {insert random food here}, then I might feel deprived.

But, that doesn’t make it about the food.

And it certainly doesn’t mean I have to eat.

That is the part that few talk about or acknowledge.

They say, allow it so you won’t feel deprived.

I say, look at what you are saying to yourself about it.

And question it.

Like, really, question it.

Break it open and examine the parts.

And go deep.

Let’s do that right now.

Say you eat {insert random food here}.

Then, you feel like shit – physically speaking. Maybe you feel sleepy, or get heartburn, or can’t shit for days. Or, maybe you can’t stop shitting for days. Maybe you break out in a rash. Maybe your blood sugar is all over the map. Maybe your joints and muscles hurt like a son-of-a-bitch.

Yep, that sounds like deprivation alright.

Deprivation of health, vitality, energy. A well body. A healthy body. A body that hums with delight.

A body that functions properly.

Stop telling yourself you are eating {insert random food here} because you will feel deprived if you don’t.

That is a lie.

You get to choose how you think about what you are putting in your body.

Feeling deprived is a choice.

Instead, why not ask yourself:

Do allowing it and eating it have to go hand in hand?

What am I really depriving myself of when I eat this food?

Is it possible that I could choose not to eat {insert random food here} and feel good, instead of deprived, about that choice?

Am I really taking care of myself here?

Or am I just using this as yet another way to beat myself up and prove that my life sucks?

Does my body trust me?

I’ve always said that you really can eat whatever you want. And I still believe that is true.

But, are you really getting what you want?