A few years back, the concept of “taking your power back” became popular. And while I find the overall sentiment useful, there is something even better:
Not giving your power away in the first place!
So, what exactly is in your power and how are you giving it away?
YOUR power is always about what YOU are doing in the present moment:
- the direction you give your thoughts and beliefs
- your boundaries and how well YOU honor them
- your plans, values, goals, intentions, habits, routines, and rituals
- your responses to the things that are not in your power
- how you treat yourself when you react in unconscious ways
And what is NOT in your power?
- Other people’s interpretations, opinions, feelings, and actions.
- Time, weather, natural disasters, unforeseen challenges, or accidents
- The outcome of certain situations, even with your best effort.
- Societal systems and structures beyond your immediate control.
- The past, what happened to you, and how you responded then.
- Genetics or inherent traits you were born with.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to start noticing where you might be giving your power away to things on that second list. It’s not always easy, especially in a world full of real challenges, but it’s a practice that helps you show up stronger and more aligned with who you are.
Starting small—instead of trying to burn your whole life down—is usually the best approach.
The first step is simply noticing when you’re in your not-self theme and getting curious about what led you there. From that awareness, take one small step in a more aligned direction, and you can begin to change your path entirely.
So, when you’re experiencing your not-self theme:
- Frustration for Generators and Manifesting Generators
- Bitterness for Projectors
- Anger for Manifestors
- Disappointment for Reflectors
Use it as a signal to pause, get curious, and make a tiny change—even if it feels inconsequential in the moment.
The key is observing what is really happening—with heaps of compassion—and allowing your not-self themes to show you where you may be giving your power away.
Here are some prompts to help you deepen that awareness…
STOP Giving Your Power Away (by types)
(You can also read my full article on the human design types here.)
Generators and Manifesting Generators, when you notice frustration:
Get curious about the way you are using your energy.
Do you LOVE how you are using up your energy each day? Like, the kind of love that gives you fuel even when things are challenging? Really question if your sacral is saying yes.
Or are you doing things because you think you should or believe that you have to?
If it’s the later, here are some tiny steps to experiment with:
Get into your body: Spend a few minutes moving your body in a way that feels “juicy.” For example, try putting on a song you love and dancing in your kitchen or taking a quick walk around the block. Notice what your body likes to do.
Reflect on what it means to LOVE something: Pause and ask yourself, “What’s one thing I did today that I did simply because i love it?” For example, did you love taking a walk, even though the hills were a bit challenging?
Practice saying no: If your coworker asks you to take on a task that feels like a “should,” try saying, “I’d love to help, but my plate is full today. Let’s revisit later.” Notice what that is like for you — on the inside — when you honor your sacral no.
Want a deep dive on what it means to be a generator or manifest gen plus the tools you need to make changes (big or small!)? I’ve got you. Get Human Design Map & Portal here.
Projectors, when you notice bitterness:
Get curious about where you are attempting to guide or develop intimacy with people who aren’t interested.
Are you in relationship with people who want you to be your whole self when you are together? Are people seeking you out for advice? Are people eating up your wisdom like candy?
Or are you feeling desperate to be seen and heard?
If it’s the later, here are some tiny steps to try:
Pause before offering advice: The next time you’re tempted to share your insights, notice if the “call” is coming from them or you. For example, if a friend is venting about work, don’t just start telling them what to do. Tune into what they are really saying, and if necessary, ask them if they want advice or just to vent. (Note: If they just want to vent, that does not mean you have to listen, you can set boundaries. But asking can help you get clear how open they are to what you can see.)
Recognize Yourself: Keep a journal to take note of when your guidance is heard, applied, and resulted in success for the other person. Revisit the journal anytime you are feeling bitter. For example, “Last week, my friend asked me for advice in her business and I told her what the missing piece seemed to be. She applied my advice and let em know today that she signed three new clients!“
Reset Your Aura: Sometimes, projector bitterness isn’t always about the approach you are taking in guiding others or being in relationship. Sometimes, you just need some downtime in your own pure aura to let go of all the stuff that isn’t yours to hold and carry. For example, take a few moments to sit and watch the birds, color, or wander around outside and notice how your energy and perspective automatically shifts.
Want a deep dive on what it means to be a projector plus the tools you need to make changes (big or small!)? I’ve got you. Get Human Design Map & Portal here.
Manifestors, when you notice anger:
Anger is an indicator that correct boundaries aren’t in place. Our boundaries are our values in action. Manifestors tend to hold strong values around distraction/interruption-free creativity because of the impact that their creativity has on the world.
Anger could be a sign that you are holding other people responsible for honoring your creative boundaries instead of being the person who has impeccable boundaries.
When you notice anger, try these tiny steps:
Reinforce a boundary: People are going to “people.” Which means, sometimes, even the most well meaning people will interrupt you, despite how well you informed them. Your role is to hold the boundary. If someone interrupts you while you’re doing deep creative work, “I’m in the middle of {creative project}—I’ll be ready to connect with you in {timeframe}.” That last part “softens” the boundary by letting them know you really do care about them and want to connect/help/etc.
Get Clarity of Your Creative Work Needs: Spend five minutes journaling about what your ideal creative time looks like. For example, “No interruptions, a clean desk, and a block of {length of time} uninterrupted time in the morning.” Then take one small action to align with that vision, like setting your phone to “Do Not Disturb” during your next creative session. Even if everything else goes to shit, taking that one step will feel powerful.
Initiate something small: Use your initiating energy to start a tiny project. For example, send a quick email to pitch a new idea or start sketching out a concept that excites you, even if it’s just on a napkin. You don’t have to run with every creative urge but even just acknowledging them is a step in the right direction.
Want a deep dive on what it means to be a manifestor plus the tools you need to make changes (big or small!)? I’ve got you. Get Human Design Map & Portal here.
Reflectors, when you notice disappointment:
Get curious about your environment, the people you spend the most time with, and how the cycles of the moon impact your daily experience.
Do you enjoy your environment? Do you love who you are when you are around certain people? Do you honor your fluid identity?
Or are you staying in relationships, places, or lifestyles because of pressure to fit in?
If you are staying in misalignment, try these small tweaks:
Tidy your environment: Look around your space and find one small thing to improve your environment. For example, light a candle, open a window for fresh air, or declutter one corner of a room. Anything you can do to make it more to your liking can help.
Connect with people are delightful: Make a list of people that you find utterly delightful. Text at least one of them and say, “Hey, I’d love to catch up—are you free for coffee/zoom/phone call soon?” If you are really feeling it, you can even tell them what you love so much about them.
Connect with the Moon: Even if you haven’t worked out your whole moon transits, look up what the moon is doing right now and how it’s impacting your chart. For example, if the moon is in gate 61 and is creating the channel of awareness with your hanging gate 24, write down three things you notice about your energy that day.
Want a deep dive on what it means to be a reflector plus the tools you need to make changes (big or small!)? I’ve got you. Get Human Design Map & Portal here.
Remember, noticing your not-self theme isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a clue. It’s your inner wisdom nudging you back toward your true source of power — YOU.
By taking small, intentional steps—like the ones above—you can start moving in a direction that feels more aligned with your higher purpose.
The key is self-compassion, and curiosity. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but each small step adds up.
So, start where you are. Pay attention to what your not-self themes are telling you, and use them as a guide to take one small, empowered step right now.