One of my clients in the portal recently told me that she didn’t feel confident that she could makes sales in her spiritual business. She told me that what I said to her changed her whole life and outlook.
So, I’m going to tell you what I told her.
But first, let me rewind quite a few years.
I had recently completed my master certification in an energy healing modalities and was starting to do the sessions with clients. (I know someone will ask if I still do these sessions and the answer is no; for a variety of reasons, I no longer practice or recommend it.)
We would start the session with a conversation about their intention, and I’d invoke the container that would put the client into a theta wave state of deep relaxation. This was called “the resting period.”
My job during the resting period was to simply be present for them to deepen into it. While holding the container, I would often get downloads of messages that they needed to hear. And, of all the messages that I ever got, this one stuck more because not only did it shift her perspective, it shifted mine. I’ve shared it with countless of clients since and it never ceases to make a difference.
Similar to my recent portal client, this client was also a spiritual business owner struggling with confidence. She came to me because she felt unworthy of the kind of business she really wanted. And her intention for the session was the feel confident in her business.
About halfway into the resting period, I heard, clear as a bell, the following words:
Confidence doesn’t come from knowing the outcome. It comes from having your own back either way.
I was stunned. Because, like so many, I’d always thought that confidence was about being sure. Like, if I could guarantee, in my own mind, a specific outcome, then, I’d be brave and bold in my business. I thought that there needed to be no doubt, no fear, no confusion to take the action necessary to get results.
But those fear-free states we so far and few between. I felt terrified and panic…a lot.
And, I thought something was wrong with me that I never felt like I knew exactly what would happen if I did this or that. I often felt desperate for things to work; I wanted PROOF that I had what it takes. And I had not embraced the trial and error process that is baked into being in business.
I’d heard, but not yet embodied, that success is built on a PILE of failures.
Confidence doesn’t come from knowing the outcome. It comes from having your own back either way.
Those words marked a turning point. Because I had to confront the reality of what I was really searching for and what the solution really was.
See, up until that point, I made every failure, every mistake, every unrealized dream mean that something was wrong with me. I made it mean I was unworthy. I was broken. I would never succeed.
In other words, I did not have my own back. I was an epic asshole to myself; a ruthless tyrant who expected perfection. And, more importantly, I didn’t know how to take care of myself in the face of disappointment. I only knew how to shame and blame myself.
And those words:
Confidence doesn’t come from knowing the outcome. It comes from having your own back either way.
Showed me the way out.
Because when you have your own back, no matter what happens, it doesn’t matter if you feel afraid, or doubt, or confusion. It doesn’t matter if all goes according to plan. It doesn’t matter if you win, lose, or draw.
What matters is who you are being – as a human being and as a business owner – in the face of all that. What matters is having the energy to assess, to reconnect with your gifts, your message, and your value arc, and to pivot.
You cannot do that when you are being an asshole to yourself. You cannot do that when you make something every single business owner faces (failure, mistakes, misfires) personal and about your worthiness. You cannot do that when you’ve been taken out by your ego.
The truth is, humans experience fear, doubt, and confusion. And to be successful, you must be able to meet those feelings with presence, compassion, and curiosity. You must be able to all on parts of yourself that already have what it takes. And you must be able to pick yourself up, try new things, and keep going.
Confidence doesn’t come from knowing the outcome. It comes from having your own back either way.
This is one of the many skills you’ll learn in the MAP Method, my step-by-step process for moving in a soul aligned direction with confidence and purpose. You’ll become someone who make moves from wholeness – instead of fear and shame – and you’ll do it consistently.
And it’s all included with the Human Design Map & Portal. Don’t wait another minute for what was always yours. Grab it here.