Being an empath, you’ve likely heard that if you don’t want to feel exhausted or drained by other people’s energy (thoughts, emotions, etc.) that you need to “shield” and “protect” yourself with white light, bubbles, fences, walls, etc. However, if you’ve been doing that for more than a minute, you’ve already recognized that everything is energy and that if you want to avoid it, you have to “shield” and “protect” yourself all day, everyday, which is ineffective and just as draining.
That is because shielding and protecting doesn’t address the energetic root cause of the issues that being an empath can create. In fact, it can make them worse.
What does address the root cause is creating and honoring your energetic boundaries, which requires discernment and practice. It is also critical to practice radical self acceptance and self responsibility and to learn how to be fully present in your physical body, attuned to your own feelings, thoughts, and needs.
I’ve put together a list of resources to help you do those things.
Being An Empath Truths, Tips, and Resources
Note that in the case of the crystals and flower essences that they can bring immediate relief but will also begin to reveal the energetic root cause of whatever is going on so that you can heal it. Similar to “shielding” and “protecting”, they should be considered “training wheels” as you heal the root cause, rather than long term solutions.
Being An Empath: Books
Most of the books I have found for empaths are focused on ways to “shield” and “protect” or are, in general, disempowering and haven’t resonated as helpful for the long term. I have not found ANY books that focus on healing the energetic root causes of the “negative” aspects of being an empath (this isn’t to say they don’t exist) but, I have found a couple that help with the more practical level skills. Here they are:
The Language of Emotions by Karla McLaren – this is one of the most influential books of my life, and was the first time I heard the word empath. It is not the kind of book that you will be able to just sit down and read as it is more like an encyclopedia of emotions. It is really a powerful tool in helping you to understand the gifts of your emotions, and the emotions of your clients, instead of rejecting them as bad or wrong. Even shame and fear have wisdom to share. Karla also has a book about empathy here.
The Empowered Empath by Rose Rosetree – This book goes into great detail about how to know if you are an empath (I have a quiz here), the different types of empaths, and some basic skills for turning your empathy “off.” Many empaths have resistance to “turning it off” which is related to those energetic root causes I mentioned, which I won’t go into detail about here. What I will say is that “turning it off” does not mean that you will lack empathy and start being an uncaring asshole. Instead, turning it off is about being in control of your gifts rather than taking on everything all the time, so that you can feel more balanced. She also has a “quick and easy” version of the book here.
The Master Empath by Rose Rosetree – This book is intended to be read after The Empowered Empath. Once you know how to “turn it off”, this books teaches you some skills for “turning it on” with intention and purpose.
Being An Empath: Flower Essences
Descriptions come from Bach. In addition to ordering them online, you can also find them in health food stores such as Whole Foods. Use them in acute situations or when doing any sort of “processing” such a coaching or therapy sessions, journaling, or meditation.
Bach Beech – Helps you to be more tolerant and see the positive in others despite their imperfections.
Bach Centaury – Helps you take care of your own needs and assert yourself if you find it hard to say no to others.
Bach Chestnut Bud – Helps you observe your mistakes objectively so you can learn from them and move on.
Bach Elm – Feeling overwhelmed and/or depressed, there is too much to do and you don’t feel that you can do it all.
Bach Mustard – When you feel depressed for no reason. Like a dark cloud that destroys normal cheerfulness.
Bach Oak – Allow the naturally strong to take a break rather than struggle on without rest.
Bach Olive – Restores energy when you are mentally and physically exhausted.
Bach Red Chestnut – When you feel over worried and/or over concerned for others.
Bach Walnut – Protection from outside influences and energies. Helps you adjust to major changes.
Bach White Chestnut – When you mind is cluttered with thoughts or mental arguments. You may be unable to sleep because of the thoughts.
Bach Willow – When you feel resentment, self-pity and bitterness. You would like to regain a sense of humor and proportion.
Being An Empath: Crystals
When selecting crystals, trust your intuition. Hold them in your hand or, if buying crystals online, tune into their energy. You’ll know almost immediately if it is the one for you.
Be sure to cleanse the crystal before putting it to use. To cleanse, you can use Reiki, smudge with sage or palo santo, or sit them on a slab of selenite. You can also wash them but be mindful that crystals that end in “ite” are not tolerant to water and may pit or disintegrate. Also, be sure to set an intention for your crystal by “asking it” to help you with whatever you want its help with.
If you are interested in learning more about crystals, my favorites books are this one and this one. And this one is the “store copy” in my fav metaphysical shop and is on my wish list.
Labradorite is a beautiful grey-green crystal with flashes of every color in the rainbow. Labradorite is awesome for helping you discern the energetic distortions (beliefs, emotions, etc.) that keep you stuck in unhelpful patterns. It also is great for “psychic protection”, enhancing your intuitive gifts, and helping you stay neutral in emotionally charged situations. All of these qualities combined make this an amazing crystal for empaths because it works on the core issues that most undeveloped empaths face. Wear labradorite when working with clients or going into public spaces and ask it to help you discern unhelpful patterns as an empath. Take a look at some Labradorite here.
Amazonite is a lovely blue-green-turquoise crystal with whitish veins running through it. Amazonite is great for empaths because it helps with boundaries. It will help you with both practical and physical boundaries but, for an empath, more importantly, energetic boundaries. Like labradorite, it is helpful to wear when working with clients or in times when you notice yourself feeling angry, frustrated, irritated, or resentful. Take a look at some Amazonite here.
Selenite is clear and white with linear lines and due to it’s softness, can be very flaky (see it here). Selenite is one of the best stone for purifying energy and to realign you with your source energy. Use a selenite wand to clear your energy field after client sessions and/or keep a chunk of selenite in all four corners of your office. You can also get a selenite “slab” to lay crystal jewelry on and it will clear it of any energy it collected while you were wearing it. Take a look at some Selenite here.
Carnelian is pale to deep orange and a bit translucent when held up to light. Carnelian is a great stone for restoring your energy when you are feeling exhausted or drained. Keep a carnelian in your pocket as you engage in self-care or when you are taking a break. It is also a great stone for meditation. Take a look at some Carnelian here.
Smoky Quartz is a golden-brown with brilliant translucence. Smoky Quartz is one of the best stones for grounding your energy and bringing you back into your psychical body, which is an essential tools for empaths. Undeveloped Empaths tend to “look” at other people’s energy by energetically leaving their body, which can create the sensation of being a “floating head” and leads to exhaustion and overwhelm. Hold a stone in your hand before and after client sessions to assist in grounding your energy and/or wear smoky quartz jewelry during clients sessions to serve as a reminder to stay present in your body. Take a look at some Smoky Quartz here.
Rose Quartz is a light pink stone that is sold in lots of different shapes and sizes. Rose Quartz is a very nurturing stone, and often called a mothering crystal because of it’s ability to help you create more nurturing practices of self care. It is also great for helping you relax and unwind. Keep a rose quartz on your altar to serve as a reminder to take care of yourself or one by your bed to help you relax and get a good night sleep. Take a look at some Rose Quartz here.
Being an empath is not a curse. You simply need the tools and energetic healing required to tap into the potency of this gift. I do hope that this list of resources will help you do just that.