Christie Inge

Master Energy Healer & Intuitive Guide

How To Feel Your Feelings

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If you’ve been trying to make changes in your life and start to live more true to yourself, you’ve probably heard at least a million times that you need to learn how to feel your feelings.

And if you’ve been someone who has avoided your emotions for most of your life, that idea can be quite overwhelming. You might even be wondering what it even means to feel your feelings.

Well, I get it and I have some insight I’d like to share with you.

I have always been a feelings kind of girl and for much of my life, I believed that having such deep, emotional experiences was wrong and unacceptable.

And since it seemed damn near impossible to turn my feelings off completely (because it is), I learned how to, energetically, leave my body.

I became so disconnected from my body that, most of the time, I felt like a floating head. I often found myself in la la land or “coming back” and wondering where the hell had I “been.”

It started with food. I’d eat and eat and eat until the only thing I could feel was exhausted, bloated, and guilty.

As I got a little older, my love affair with food turned into a little drug and alcohol problem. It seemed like I could only relax and be myself when I was shit faced drunk. Or, that I could only express how I truly felt when I was high on drugs.

When I got off the drugs and alcohol, I was right back, face first, in pints of Ben and Jerry’s.

It wasn’t pretty, really.

Checking out of my body (and therefore my life), became so normal to me that I forgot about the completely connected, intuitive, highly sensitive, empathic person I once was. The more I pushed that part of myself away, the more emotional pain and suffering I found myself in.

So, eventually, I got to a place where I realized that I needed to make a change and I learned this:

Feelings happen in the body and thoughts happen in the mind.

Feelings are actual sensations that we can, literally, feel in our body. For example, when you are experiencing anger, you might feel tightness in your jaw. They are like signals that, when interpreted correctly, can point you to your next steps.

Thoughts, on the other hand, are the pictures, memories, ideas, and sentences (and sometimes long drawn out stories, lol) that happens in our mind.

What a revelation this was. I had never really understood the difference between thoughts and feelings.

But, I was still completely afraid. And as weird as it is to say, it seemed easier to stay disconnected and remain a floating head than to actually start feeling my feelings.

Because, let’s face it, feelings don’t always feel good and sometimes, they can feel downright terrifying.

But, I also knew that I could NOT keep going the way I was.

I knew, deep inside, that my feelings were the key and that I’d have to surrender my fear and lean into trust and faith, instead.

So, slowly over time, I got back in my body and began to practice feeling my feelings.

This required that I set aside what was happening in my mind long enough to connect with myself, to connect with the hurt, and the pain, and the fear, and even the joy.

Brave work, indeed.

When I invite my clients into this same experience, they often feel that same kind of fear. They have no idea what it means to “feel your feelings” and often think that it is this huge complicated process that will hurt them.

But here’s the truth:

Feeling your feelings is actually really simple and the worst thing that will happen is the feeling itself.

Your feelings will not hurt you but avoiding them does.

So, here is a simple exercise to help you feel your feelings.

How to Feel Your Feelings

Before I jump into the feel your feelings practice, I do want to take a moment to clarify that feeling your feelings is just the first step in healing your emotional wounds. Your feelings are signals and in order to get the wisdom from those signals, you start by feeling them.

By feeling them, you start to understand what they ARE and, then, and only then, can you start to decipher what, if anything, they mean about moving forward in your life.

It’s kind of like when you learn a foreign language. You don’t start speaking like a local right out of the gate. You learn to say hello, first.

Feeling your feelings is like learning to say hello and that was this practice does. If you want to dig more into deciphering what they actually mean, I recommend reading The Language of Emotions by Karla McLaren. Now, let’s get down to the feel your feelings practice:

Sit (stand, lie down, whatever) and focus your attention on your body. Notice the sensations that are happening in your body by slowly scanning from the tips of your toes all the way up to the crown of your head, paying close attention to any sensations you notice. You can ask yourself questions like:

What feelings and sensations do I notice in my body?

What does {insert body part} feel like?

What are the sensations I am feeling in my {insert body part}?

Are these physical or emotional sensations? (For example, you may notice that you have tight calves from a workout yesterday AND that you are holding some tension in your stomach about a presentation you have to make at work.)

As you scan, it can be very helpful to breathe as you notice the sensations. Now, stay with the feeling in your body. If you notice that you move back into your mind, just notice that and bring your attention back into your body.

As you breathe and stay with it, the emotional feelings will start to shift and move, and even go away completely. Just notice whatever is happening. Stay with your emotional experience as long as feels necessary for you.

If the feeling stays in your body longer than a couple of minutes, this is most often an indicator that you are in your mind, not your body.

If you are very new to this process and are just learning how to get back into your body, you may want to set a timer for this exercise. Just a minute or two is a good starting point. Doing so will help you to begin to build your “I really can feel my feelings without dying” evidence file.

As you build your evidence file, you will be able to sit with your feelings longer and longer.

That is it.

You just felt your feelings.

Go you. This is the first step in creating more of what you want in your life!

I'm Christie Inge.

I’m a foul-mouthed Fairy Godmother for creative rebels who are committed to making a difference in the world by being themselves