Christie Inge

Master Energy Healer & Intuitive Guide

Being Your Own Self Love North Star

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If you are new here, welcome! This is a post in my Human Design Gates series and covers Human Design Gate 10 (aka Gene Key 10), which is all about self-love. If you aren’t familiar with Human Design, it is my absolute favorite tool for knowing who you are and your purpose in life. I recommend starting with my intro blog post on the Human Design Chart Basics

The official name for Human Design Gate 10 is The Gate of The Behavior of the Self. But I call it The Self Love North Star. It’s on the cusp of Sagittarius and Capricorn. 


Sagittarius is a fire sign. It’s a sign of aspiration, optimism, and new adventures. It’s about aiming for a brighter future. 


Capricorn is an earth sign. It’s a sign of caution, responsibility, and hard work. It’s about the details and convention. 


These two signs both influence the energy of the 10 in their own ways and take “self-love” from being an airy fairy concept to being a grounded and practical way to make a difference in the world. 


In the Human Design chart, Gate 10 is a gate in the G center and it connects to the Sacral center via gate 34. It also connects to the Spleen via gate 57 and the Throat via gate 20. 

Human Design Gate 10


The Energy Spectrum of Human Design Gate 10


The core theme of Human Design Gate 10 is the love of being oneself. 


It is the energy for practicing radical self-love and self-acceptance. And it understands the healing power of radical self-responsibility. It does the inner work necessary to recognize needs, values and desires and acts in accordance with them. 


When Gate 10 is manifesting in your life unconsciously (aka the shadow), you may struggle with ignoring your own needs due to societal and religious conditioning to sacrifice yourself for the sake of others. 


Depending on whether you internalize or externalize the shadow of Gate 10, it can look like ignoring the wisdom of your emotions or people-pleasing and codependency. 


In the shadow frequency, it often feels frustration, resentment, disappointment, and anger. 


But, as with all shadows, there is always a gift. Our inner work is to bring the shadow into the light of consciousness and embrace the full spectrum of its potential.  


In doing so, we are able to step into worthiness of the gifts of gate 10. 


The gift (aka the conscious side) of Gate 10 is the awareness that the purpose of life is to BE yourself and the only way you can truly do that is by practicing self-love and self-acceptance. 


It’s knowing radical self-responsibility is one of the most healing forces on the planet. And it’s the willingness to make a difference in the world by being an example of self love and self acceptance. 


How to Choose Worthiness of the Gifts of Gate 10


Self love was a foreign concept to me until my early thirties and when I first came across it, I had a lot of misconceptions about it.


First and foremost, I thought that self love was undoubtedly selfish. I’d been conditioned to believe that ignoring my own needs and taking care of others (especially emotionally) was how I earned worthy points with God. 


I also thought that self love meant that I was conceited, full of myself, or completely narcissistic. 


But I was at a breaking point. 


I knew that if I were to grow and live my purpose, I was going to have to start loving myself. There was no other way around it because how I was living was not working. 


I mean, let’s be real, you don’t end up addicted to drugs, alcohol, and sex with bad boys because you love yourself, right? 


No. You don’t. 


So, I decided to believe all those aspirational quotes about putting on your own oxygen mask first and made the decision that I was going to learn to love myself. 


But, that was when the real block to self love showed up. 


I thought that deciding to love myself would be like waving a magic wand and, in a flash, all of my self-hatred, unhealthy habits, and shitty boundaries would disappear into thin air. 


And, I assure you, if I had such a wand, I’d sell it on the internet for millions of dollars. LOL.


However, it doesn’t work like that. 


In reality, self-love is a commitment. It’s a practice that gets really, really messy and requires the tenacity to keep choosing self love, even when all of the odds are stacked against you. 


Self love is a path of understanding yourself, your needs, your values, and your heart-felt desires and healing the blocks that prevent you from prioritizing those things in your life. 


(Human Design is a wonderful way to understand yourself and your needs more clearly! Book a reading with me here.)


Self love takes forgiveness, acceptance, patience, and radical honesty with yourself and others. 


And, of course, it means that you have to give other people permission to think whatever they want about you. 


You have to let others think that you’re selfish. You have to let others think that you’re conceited. And you have to let others think that you’re full of yourself. 


You have to recognize that what other people think about you is none of your business because it’s always about them. Their thoughts = their responsibility. 


And it is there that you find your freedom. 


 Self-hatred transforms into self-respect. Unhealthy habits transform into conscious and aligned choices. Shitty boundaries transform into honesty and integrity. 


It is this magical combination of energy that allows self love to permeate the essence of our being and become a lighthouse that empowers others to do the same. 


On my path, for which there are still plenty of miles to go, I’ve discovered that the more I practice self love, the more I say yes to myself, and the more I create the space necessary for self-understanding, the more fun and meaningful my life is. 


And, ironically enough, the more I love myself, the easier it is for me to show up for others. By giving from the overflow of my full cup, I can actually be in true service without the bitterness and resentment that filled my earlier years. 


I trust that the more I give myself, the more I have to give to others. It can only be that way. 


So, as the Sun transits gate 10, The Self Love North Star, I invite you to contemplate where self love fits into your life. 


Your Personal Contemplation of Human Design Gate 10


When you stand in the Truth that you are worthy of loving yourself first…


What do you want?

What do you value? 

What are your heart-felt desires?

What boundaries do you need to establish and honor? 

And what do those things look like in action? 

What beliefs about yourself do you need to cultivate and what shadows do you need to heal to take those actions?

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