The official name for Human Design Gate 10 is The Gate of The Behavior of the Self. But I call it The Self Love North Star because its primary action is to be an example of deep self love.
About Human Design Gate 10 – Gene Key 10
In Action: To Be An Example Of Deep Self Love.
Keywords: Self Love, Empowerment, Being An Example
Official Gate Name: The Behavior of the Self
Human Design Definition: The underlying code of behavior that ensures successful interaction despite circumstances.
Core Theme: The love of being oneself.
Tropical Sign: Sagittarius/Capricorn
(Want all of the correspondences and keynotes for the gates of your incarnation cross? The Human Design Map + Deconditioning Toolbox is for you.)
The Energy Spectrum of Human Design Gate 10
All energy in the Human Design chart exists on a spectrum of potential.
On the “positive” end of the spectrum, Human Design Gate 10 is the energy for deep self-love. Gate 10 understands and honors its needs, values, and desires and is a shining example of self-love.
On the “negative” end of the spectrum, Human Design Gate 10 is the energy for people-pleasing and codependency. It ignores the wisdom of its emotions and ignores its needs and values.
If you don’t like the results that the “negative” side of the spectrum is creating in your life, you can raise the frequency of Gate 10 with a number of boundaries, practices, and tools.
(I cover the practices for the gates of your incarnation cross in The Human Design Map.)
The most important thing to raise the frequency of gate 10 is to make space each day to ask yourself what you need and prioritize honoring that need.
My personal contemplation of Human Design Gate 10 (Gene Key 10)
Self-love was a foreign concept to me until my early thirties and when I first came across it, I had a lot of misconceptions about it.
First and foremost, I thought that self-love was undoubtedly selfish. I’d been conditioned to believe that ignoring my own needs and taking care of others (especially emotionally) was how I earned worthy points with God.
I also thought that self-love meant that I was conceited, full of myself, or completely narcissistic.
But I was at a breaking point.
I knew that if I were to grow and live my purpose, I was going to have to start loving myself. There was no other way around it because how I was living was not working.
I mean, let’s be real, you don’t end up addicted to drugs, alcohol, and sex with bad boys because you love yourself, right?
No. You don’t.
So, I decided to believe all those inspirational quotes about putting on my own oxygen mask first and made the decision that I was going to learn to love myself.
But, that was when the real block to self-love showed up.
I thought that deciding to love myself would be like waving a magic wand and, in a flash, all of my self-hatred, unhealthy habits, and shitty boundaries would disappear into thin air.
And, I assure you, if I had such a wand, I’d sell it on the internet for millions of dollars. LOL.
However, it doesn’t work like that.
In reality, self-love is a commitment. It’s a practice that gets really, really messy and requires the tenacity to keep choosing self-love, even when all of the odds are stacked against you.
Self-love is a path of understanding yourself, your needs, your values, and your heartfelt desires and healing the blocks that prevent you from prioritizing those things in your life.
(Human Design is a wonderful way to understand yourself and your needs more clearly! Get your map here.)
Self-love takes forgiveness, acceptance, patience, and radical honesty with yourself and others.
And, of course, it means that you have to give other people permission to think whatever they want about you.
You have to let others think that you’re selfish. You have to let others think that you’re conceited. And you have to let others think that you’re full of yourself.
You have to recognize that what other people think about you is none of your business because it’s always about them. Their thoughts = their responsibility.
And it is there that you find your freedom.
Self-hatred transforms into self-respect. Unhealthy habits transform into conscious and aligned choices. Shitty boundaries transform into honesty and integrity.
It is this magical combination of energy that allows self-love to permeate the essence of our being and become a lighthouse that empowers others to do the same.
On my path, for which there are still plenty of miles to go, I’ve discovered that the more I practice self-love, the more I say yes to myself, and the more I create the space necessary for self-understanding, the more fun and meaningful my life is.
And, ironically enough, the more I love myself, the easier it is for me to show up for others. By giving from the overflow of my full cup, I can actually be in true service without the bitterness and resentment that filled my earlier years.
I trust that the more I give myself, the more I have to give to others. It can only be that way.
I invite you to contemplate where self-love fits into your life.
Now it’s your turn to contemplate Gate 10
When you stand in the Truth that gate 10 gifts are available to you, whether it’s defined in your chart or not…
What do you want?
What do you value?
What are your heart-felt desires?
What boundaries do you need to establish and honor?
And what do those things look like in action?
What beliefs about yourself do you need to cultivate and what shadows do you need to heal to take those actions?
I encourage you to take some time with these questions. Take them out into your world and let their answers reveal themselves to you. Intend for deeper levels of clarity about gate 10.