The official name for Human Design Gate 10 is The Gate of The Behavior of the Self. But I call it The Self Love North Star because its primary action is to be an example of deep self love.
About Human Design Gate 10 – Gene Key 10
Archetype Name: The Self Love North Star
In Action: be an example of radical self love
Keywords: self love, personal empowerment, and being an example
Official Gate Name: The Behavior of the Self
Human Design Definition: The underlying code of behavior that ensures successful interaction despite circumstances.
Core Theme: The love of being oneself.
Tropical Sign: Sagittarius/Capricorn
(Want a deep dive on the gates of your incarnation cross? The Human Design Map is for you.)
The Energy Spectrum of Human Design Gate 10
All energy in the Human Design chart exists on a spectrum of potential.
On the “positive” end of the spectrum, Human Design Gate 10 is the energy for deep self-love. Gate 10 understands and honors its needs, values, and desires and is a shining example of self-love.
On the “negative” end of the spectrum, Human Design Gate 10 is the energy for people-pleasing and codependency. It ignores the wisdom of its emotions and ignores its needs and values.
If you don’t like the results that the “negative” side of the spectrum is creating in your life, you can raise the frequency of Gate 10 with a number of boundaries, practices, and tools.
(I cover the practices for the gates of your incarnation cross in the Human Design Map.)
The most important thing to raise the frequency of gate 10 is to make space each day to ask yourself what you need and prioritize honoring that need.
My Personal Experience with Human Design Gate 10 (Gene Key 10)
Self-love was a foreign concept to me until my early thirties.
When I first came across the idea, like so many, I was confused and needed clarification about what it even means to love oneself.
First and foremost, I thought that self-love was undoubtedly selfish. I’d been conditioned to believe that ignoring my own needs and taking care of others (especially emotionally) was how I earned Gold Stars from “God.”
I also thought self-love meant I was conceited, full of myself, or completely narcissistic.
And, I was at a breaking point.
I had recently started my business and naively assumed that being in charge of my schedule would somehow magically make my life a land of fairy tales.
And, don’t get me wrong, there is no part of me that wants to go back to working for other people. I’m unemployable, at this point.
But, just like so many of the people who are drawn to my work with the map, I still believed that the answers were outside of me. I was convinced that a change in outer circumstances would fix everything that seemed broken.
I woke up to the realization that the answers are – and always have been – inside of me. And learning to love and accept myself was the way.
I knew that if I were to grow into my authenticity and make the contribution that only I can make, self-love was my next step. There was no other way around it. The way I was living was not working.
Let’s be honest.
You don’t end up addicted to drugs, alcohol, and sex with strangers because you love yourself, right?
No. You don’t.
So, I decided to believe all those inspirational quotes about putting on my oxygen mask first and decided that I would learn to love myself.
But that was when the “real block” to self-love showed up.
I thought that deciding to love myself would be like waving a magic wand; in a flash, my self-hatred, unhealthy habits (human design gate 5), and shitty boundaries (human design gate 37) would disappear into thin air.
And, I assure you, if I had such a wand, I’d sell it on the internet for millions of dollars. LOL.
However, it doesn’t work like that. And it isn’t supposed to.
In this game of Divine Hide and Seek, we are being called into ourselves. And anytime we are seeking outside of ourselves for answers, they will keep hiding.
In reality, self-love is about devotion to your inner knowing. It’s a practice that gets really messy and requires the tenacity to keep choosing self-love, even when all of the odds are stacked against you.
Self-love is a path of understanding yourself, your needs, your values, and your heartfelt desires and healing the “blocks” that prevent you from prioritizing those things in your life.
As you likely already know, your Human Design chart is a beautiful doorway into discovering what it means to love yourself. I would even go so far as to say Human Design is a shortcut!
And you’re in luck. I’m a literal master at teaching you how to “heal your blocks.” In the Human Design Map, I’ll explain the most important parts of your design and teach you how to get out of your own way inside the Human Design Map + Portal. Get your access here.
Whether you use your Human Design as part of your journey into self-love, rest assured that it takes forgiveness, acceptance, patience, and radical honesty with yourself and others.
More importantly, it means you have to let people think whatever they want about you. Even if they think you are selfish, conceited, or full of yourself.
What other people think about you is none of your business.
As we move into the era of individual empowerment and the embodiment of spirit (2027 – 2438), it is essential to remember that other people’s thoughts, feelings, and actions are their own. And that their judgments of you are projections of their own disintegrated shadows.
Your fear of other people thinking “negative” things about you, and judging the shit out of yourself because of it, are the “blocks” to unshakable self love.
The energy you need to move forward with self-love is bound up in those fears. And reclaiming those lost parts of yourself is where you find your freedom.
Every single time.
When you do what is right for you, no matter what other people think…
… Self-hatred transforms into self-respect…
…Unhealthy habits alchemize into conscious and higher alignment choices…
…Shitty boundaries transform into honesty and integrity.
This magical combination of energy allows self-love to permeate the essence of your being, and you become a lighthouse that empowers others to do the same. It is gate 10 in action.
I’ll teach you “how” inside the Human Design Map + Portal.
On my own path, for which there are still plenty of miles to go, I’ve discovered that the more I practice self-love, the more I say yes to myself, and the more I create the space necessary for self-understanding, the more fun and meaningful my life is.
And ironically enough, the more I love myself, the easier it is for me to show up for others. By giving from the overflow of my full cup, I can be in genuine service without the bitterness and resentment that filled my earlier years.
I now trust that the more I give myself, the more I have to give to others. And that what other people think about my path is about them.
It can only be that way.
Affirmations for Human Design Gate 10
Using your Human Design to create affirmations is a powerful way to activate the full potential of your chart. Here are some affirmations for Gate 10:
I love myself fully and completely.
I am an example of radical self love.
I am empowered by knowing and honoring what I need.
Inside your Human Design Map, you’ll get a full list of empowering beliefs for your type + strategy, authority, profile, and all four gates of your incarnation cross and show you how to go from affirmation to full-on embodiment. In the meantime, be sure to also check out my post on how to make Human Design affirmations work.
Now it’s your turn to contemplate Gate 10
When you stand in the Truth that gate 10 gifts are available to you, whether it’s defined in your chart or not…
What do you want?
What do you value?
What are your heart-felt desires?
What boundaries do you need to establish and honor?
And what do those things look like in action?
What beliefs about yourself do you need to cultivate and what shadows do you need to heal to take those actions?
I encourage you to take some time with these questions. Take them out into your world and let their answers reveal themselves to you. Intend for deeper levels of clarity about gate 10.