The official name for Human Design Gate 37 is The Gate of Friendship. But I call it The Boundaries Master because its primary action is healthy communication and maintaining strong boundaries.
About Human Design Gate 37 – Gene Key 37
Archetype Name: The Boundaries Master
In Action: healthy communication and maintaining strong boundaries
Keywords: holding people together, family, equality, and emotional resources
Official Gate Name: Friendship
Human Design Definition: The manifestation macro- and micro-cosmically of the organic nature of communities.
Core Theme: Fear of tradition.
Bodygraph Center: Emotional Solar Plexus center and connects to the Will center via human design gate 40.
Tropical Sign: Pisces
(Want all of the correspondences and keynotes for the gates of your incarnation cross? The Human Design Map is for you.)
The Energy Spectrum of Human Design Gate 37
All energy in the Human Design chart exists on a spectrum of potential.
On the “positive” end of the spectrum, Human Design Gate 37 is the energy for having strong family bonds through strong communication and healthy boundaries. Gate 37 believes that all people are worthy of respect and treats everyone as a valuable part of the family, community, or friend circle.
On the “negative” end of the spectrum, Human Design Gate 37 is the energy for sacrificing yourself to make sure that the family stays together or hiding behind it’s emotions . When gate 37 doesn’t take responsibility for its emotions, it often projects its emotions onto others by being cruel or mean on purpose.
If you don’t like the results that the “negative” side of the spectrum is creating in your life, you can raise the frequency of Gate 37 with a number of boundaries, practices, and tools.
(I cover the practices for the gates of your incarnation cross in the Human Design Map.)
My personal contemplation of Human Design Gate 37 (Gene Key 37)
Gate 37 is undefined in my chart, but I have a few significant relationships with people with the 37-40 channel defined.
Because I have been exposed to it, often daily, I have come to understand the full spectrum of its expression.
Gate 37 is part of the tribal circuit, which focuses on what is “right” for the family, community, or group. I only have hanging gates in the tribal circuit; all of my channels are a mix of individual and collective circuitry (two in each).
(I do a deep dive into channels and circuits inside the portal of the Human Design Map.)
I’ve never felt like it was my job to ensure a family, community, or group stays together. In fact, most of my adult life has been in estrangement from most of my family.
But, I have developed relationships that genuinely feel like family to me. And what I have learned over time is that the full spectrum of gate 37 is truly magnificent energy.
Yes, gate 37 can be hella controlling and codependent AF on one side of the spectrum.
But, it also has the capacity for deep empathy, mutual respect, and understanding that empowered individuals actually are what make an empowered family or group.
The higher purpose of gate 37 is to embody healthy boundaries, communicate clearly, and have an attitude of cooperation instead of codependence. I’ve seen that it can find a win-win in even the most challenging family dynamics. And will set firmer boundaries when necessary.
In recent years, numerous people have told me they admire my boundaries and how I communicate during challenges. They have even said that I’m graceful with my boundaries and willingness to communicate; hearing that shocks me every time.
Because, uh, it rarely feels graceful on the inside.
I vividly remember one of the first firm boundaries I ever set.
I literally yelled at a family member to get the fuck out of my house.
I swam in shame for days after that.
I eventually apologized for yelling but made it clear that the boundary stands. Their behavior was not, and will never be, welcome in my home.
I learned so much from that experience.
First of all, the boundary nor the shame killed me.
That sounds like a joke, but when we hold such deep conditioning, the nervous system interprets stepping outside the norm as a literal threat to survival. Understanding that is an essential part of deconditioning.
In that experience, I also learned to love the part of me that can be an asshole sometimes. It’s the part of me that stands for what I believe in, is clear about my values, and has no problem saying what is true for me.
And just like I teach my Human Design Map clients, the key is learning to love and value those taboo parts of ourselves. We can channel those parts consciously instead of letting them leak out sideways and causing all manner of chaos in our lives.
As I’ve become more in touch with my boundaries and have stopped being so afraid of being seen as an asshole or bitch for having them, I have become a bit more graceful with them.
I can be clear and do so in a way that honors what is true without being unnecessarily unkind. And, when the situation calls for it, I can also go into straight-up bitch mode without shame.
It still feels uncomfortable sometimes. And, from time to time, I need to be reminded that boundaries are a beautiful thing.
But I have it deep in my bones that healthy boundaries and communication are possible in relationships. I’ve had too many positive experiences with my boundaries to believe otherwise.
These days, because I have shored up so many of the blatantly apparent boundaries, the work is more subtle. There is more nuance and a requirement to go deeper under the surface than my initial anger or defensiveness.
But it is worth doing, and I’m grateful to bear witness to the people who’ve embodied the highest frequency of gate 37. Even if it means becoming BFFs with my inner bitch.
If you want to become BFFs with your inner bitch so that you can set healthy boundaries, too, I’ll show you how inside the Human Design Map + Portal.
Now it’s your turn to contemplate Gate 37
When you stand in the truth that you can embody the gifts of gate 37 whether it is defined in your chart or not…
What have your experiences taught you about communication with your family or close knit groups?
Do you have a tendency to sacrifice yourself for the needs of your family?
In what ways can you foster deeper communication and better boundaries with your family?
I encourage you to take some time with these questions. Take them out into your world and let their answers reveal themselves to you. Intend for deeper levels of clarity about gate 37.