Many years ago, I hired my first astrologer for a reading. We started with a birth time rectification (I only had a time range) and then she did a two hour recording of what she saw in my chart.
She said something that struck me like a lightning bolt (hello, gate 51 in my conscious earth). She said:
“You need to give people candy before you they will let you help them.”
When I hired her, I was a struggling (and very, very bitter) coach and energy healer.
I didn’t know how to communicate what I did or the value of it. And finding the “right” people always felt like I was pushing boulders uphill.
I was also hustling – a lot – and was often thinking that I just needed to try harder to be successful. And the money I was making was barely enough to make ends meet.
Needless to say, my business and health were suffering.
When I hired the astrologer, I was at my wits end. I didn’t know Human Design existed and was merely hoping that astrology could offer me some clues about how to connect with “my people.”
So, her line about the candy really stood out to me; I could tell that she was onto something.
In our follow up session, I asked her to say more about it.
She told me that, based on my astrology, I had very strong indicators of being an extremely powerful healer. She even went as far as to say that I could cure people’s cancer with intention alone.
But that the people I was here to “cure” would not consciously know that they needed my specific kind of medicine and that they might feel too intimidated if I came right out and said “the truth” about my healing capabilities.
She said that for “my people” to even get close enough to know that I could help them, they would need to be tempted with something sweet first.
I didn’t really resonate with the “curing cancer” thing (and in no way claim that I can cure cancer, lol), I’d had many experiences of people telling me that I was “too deep” or “too intense” for them.
And, I had come to understand that it takes a specific type of person to be able to handle being “in the deep end” with me.
Not everyone is ready, willing, or able to forgo other people’s opinions about their lives, face their darkest parts, sit with their shame, and confront their deepest beliefs about life, themselves, and that thing that some call God.
So, what she was saying made sense but, ironically enough, I wasn’t ready to offer any “candy.”
I wanted a magic formula of the exact right words to say to “make people” want my “deep and intense” help. I wanted them to want the deep end right fucking now, please. I didn’t want to offer them something fluffy and sweet first.
So, I kept doing it the hard way.
And, as you might imagine, a few years later, I was still in the same place – bitter, exhausted, and barely making ends meet.
Eventually, I learned about Human Design and it seemed to be the answer to my prayers.
It explained so much about my experiences with helping others…
…my penetrating projector aura…
…the “rock bottom” appeal of the fifth line…
…the shocking nature of gate 51 in my conscious earth…
And that is just the beginning.
As I started to experiment with my design, I made some pretty radical changes in my business model and pricing.
I was still focused on working with people 1:1 and didn’t change how I talked about what I was doing. It was still heavily focused on “the deep end” stuff like shame, shadow integration, and self-worth. There was no candy in my marketing, lol.
And despite not changing my marketing, things did start to shift.
I was definitely getting closer to what was aligned with my higher purpose and it showed.
I wasn’t rolling in the riches but it was enough that our finances became more stable. I didn’t feel the need to “hustle” as much and my health started to improve.
I was feeling pretty good about my “success” and I probably could have sustained that way of doing business for a while.
As I continued to experiment with my design, people noticed and started to ask questions.
At that point, because of the results I’d experienced, I was head over heels for the system. I was even starting to have “back end” conversations with my clients about it.
It seemed like a shortcut to knowing where “the deep end work” needed to happen and like a big fat permission slip to just be yourself.
So, as people asked, I happily talked to them about their design and what it meant. The response was kind of mind blowing.
They often said that I was able to make it “click” for them in the way that other explanations hadn’t and that I made the system less confusing and more practical.
Much to my surprise, I started to feel a whole new level of the ever elusive “recognition and invitation.”
People were gobbling up my Human Design insights like candy and it was leading to epic healing conversations. The resistance to “the deep end” seemed to melt right before my eyes; connecting with people on that level became easier and easier.
As time passed, people started asking me if they could pay me to interpret their chart and I turned them down for months on end.
I was still too conditioned by what my business was “supposed to look like” to surrender to what was unfolding before me.
I thought – for sure – that the “best way” to work with me was to commit to a “high ticket deep end container.”
I also hadn’t yet “owned” the innate gifts of my defined head and ajna (61/24), the 48/16, or the 7/31.
And, in all honesty, I was still hanging on to the old way because of all of the energy I’d put into it. (This is SO common!)
But the requests to pay me for Human Design became more insistent. Eventually, with some reluctance, I said yes to someone I really trusted with my vulnerabilities.
And, I have to tell you, when I started writing their map, the clouds parted and the angels sang 😂.
I remember it like it was yesterday.
I was surrounded by open books, scribbling notes faster than my hand could keep up, and I was having major epiphanies about the person I was writing for.
I felt this deep sense of relief. I wondered what their life would have been like had they known these things the whole time.
And I wondered what the world would be like if everyone had their purpose and gifts spelled out for them like this.
My appreciation for Human Design went to a whole new level.
I knew that the information hidden inside the Human Design chart could change the world in miraculous ways.
As I was writing, I started to see – in black and white – that I had something unique to say about Human Design. My way with words was different – more empowering, less convoluted, and more workable.
It was like the whole picture of my innate gifts and purpose – not just my depth and intensity – were “coming online” for the first time.
And just like that, it clicked.
Human Design is the candy.
I felt more alive than I ever had.
And as much as I’d like to say the rest is history, that isn’t the whole story.
The very next day, my brother died of a drug overdose. My other brother had died in a car accident years before. And I’ve had two people close to me die by suicide.
So, I am no stranger to the reminder that life is fragile and short.
And, while I was (and still am) very at peace with his death, after returning home from his funeral, all of my resistance to “the candy” melted.
As if by Divine Intervention, I knew with every fiber of my being that the most important thing I could do was to reach as many people as possible.
I made peace with being the kind of healer that people needed to warm up to.
I saw that I had been in deep resistance to the full potential of my higher purpose and had been holding back so many of my gifts.
I let go of the story that it had to look a certain way.
And, I started to open to the idea that success could be even easier than I had ever allowed into my life.
With that knowing, I introduced Human Design to my email list and started writing about it on my blog.
Shortly after, I offered the first iteration of the map and the response was insane. I couldn’t keep up with the demand and had to go on a waitlist in less than 24 hours.
It still blows my mind and leaves me in wonder and awe of how Grace works.
Today, I feel more like myself than I ever have.
And in just a couple years time, I was more successful than I ever imagined I would be. I’ve blown past my own expectations time and time again.
And it is the kind of success I always wanted – the kind where my own well-being is at the forefront and where I don’t feel like I have to kill myself to just barely scrape by.
I get to do what I love to do – write, teach, answer questions, go down deep rabbit holes, and have epic conversations inside the map portal.
My story of struggling and bitterness has been alchemized into wild success.
And that brings me back to the subject line of this post:
It’s my job to trick you. You’re welcome.
Most of you are here because of the candy.
You are here because you wanted more details about your chart and my unique take on how it all works. Perhaps you like my way with words, my sassy mouth, my heretical heart, and my devotion to learning how to trust the inner call. Or perhaps, I’m just what came up in a google search about the system.
Whatever it was, you are here, getting a taste of the candy.
And for some of you, that will be the end of our journey.
You’ll get a taste and decide that you’ve had enough. Maybe it’s too bitter, too strong, not strong enough, or you just don’t like how it feels rolling around in your mouth.
I’ve made peace with that.
Because there are also those of you that can’t get enough.
For you, the candy tastes so Divinely Sweet that it leaves you ravenous for more.
You reciprocate my self recognition by eating up my precise words and my penetrating gaze like a kid in a candy store. And you have a deep inner knowing that I have so much more than that to offer you.
And when you invite me in, whether with your words or your hungry aura, I will say this:
The problem isn’t your lack of knowledge about your Human Design.
In fact, most of what the system will tell you will simply affirm what you already knew but have resisted due to conditioning.
You’ve seen that time and time again.
The problem is your commitment to feeling broken and the story that something is uniquely wrong with you.
The issue is your assumption that you are not enough and too much, all at the same time.
The “block” is your pursuit of gold stars, false belonging, and the letter from Hogwarts telling you how magical you are.
And all of that comes down to one thing and one thing only…
What really ails you is the illusion that you are separate from that thing that some call God.
You have forgotten that YOU ARE THE DIVINE playing a game of hide and seek with yourself.
And the cure for what ails you? It is quite simple, too.
The cure is going inside the depths of your being and falling in love with your eternal self.
The remedy is facing your demons. Transmuting the shame into power. And having the fucking courage to own it.
The antidote is trusting yourself above all else and letting other people think whatever they want about you (their thoughts are their karma, after all).
And when you do, you will wake up to your Divine I AM.
You will transcend all of the labels and your perceived limitations (including the ones in your chart).
You will come to know the ineffable you and nothing will ever be the same.
And my medicine?
It is holding the mirror while you look inside and meet your maker.
My way of curing what ails you is see your wholeness and loving you so unconditionally that even your gnarliest most shameful bits surrender to Grace.
My most potent elixir is helping you remember that you are the one you’ve been looking for.
I am a doctor of the soul and let you peek behind the curtain of how it’s done.
And I will reveal that I am just a canary in the coal mine. I am a mirror for your Golden Shadow.
And I’m yelling as loud as I can:
You are the magic. You always have been.
And if I have to trick you with some candy first?
I’ll do it as many times as it takes.
You’re welcome.