Deep inside the heart of every human is the desire to manifest what you want from life. The things you want from life come from your soul’s desire to know itself as an expression of the Divine. And here on planet Earth, with all of its beautiful duality, we do that through the contrast of our experiences as humans.
That doesn’t mean that you have to work your fingers to the bone, that you should force things to work that just aren’t, or that you have to settle for a shitty life.
What it does mean, though, is that your deepest soulful desires will REQUIRE you to grow and evolve.
You will face challenges, bumps along the way, and you’ll receive multiple invitations to heal, to let go, and to expand your definition of yourself, of life, and of that thing that some call God.
All that to say, in this post, you won’t find any tips on how to manifest what you want by meditating on mountaintops or just visualizing what you want. Both meditation and visualization can be useful tools along the way, but they aren’t the essence of what it takes to manifest what you want.
Instead, you will find my observations about the four essential steps to manifest what you want and some of the challenges (AKA growth edges!) that you might encounter along the way.
The steps to manifest what you want are:
Each one of these steps empowers the next. You can’t skip or bypass anyone of them.
So once you decide, it’s time to commit, and once you commit it time to choose, and once you choose it’s time to celebrate, and once you celebrate, the cycle starts all over again. They flow, one into the next in a very natural way.
Within the four steps, you may even encounter some “blocks” to implementing the step itself.
For example, in the first step, you might need to sort through what you think you should want vs. what you ACTUALLY want before you are able to decide.
I’ll talk more about some of the common blocks in each step below.
Despite any blocks you may encounter along the way, if you stay devoted to the overall process, you will start to gain confidence and faith and you’ll begin to manifest what you want with more awareness, ease (which is different than easy!), and flow.
So, let’s explore the four steps to manifest what you want more deeply.
4 Essential Steps to Manifest What You Want
There are a few essential steps that I’ve discovered to manifest what you want. Here are those steps and some of the common “blocks” that show up around them.
Step One: Decide
It might seem obvious that if you want to manifest what you want that you have to decide what you want.
But, it isn’t always quite that simple, especially if you’ve sacrificed what you want and need for others. In those situations, you’ll have to make some sacred space in your life so that you can reconnect with yourself. I recommend starting with defining your personal core values and then, creating goals based on those values. I walk you through that whole process in my Create Your Vision program.
In other cases, it might be that it seems like you have conflicting ideas about what you want or like you can’t see how it all fits together. Oftentimes, what is really going on here is thinking that you need to figure out HOW to manifest what you want before you can decide.
But, actually, it doesn’t really work that way.
Think about it this way:
Do you think that Thomas Edison knew exactly HOW to create a light bulb?
No way! It has never been done before so OF COURSE, he didn’t know HOW to do it. It had to start with an idea in his mind and then he had to DECIDE that creating a light bulb was what he wanted to do, first. So, don’t wait to know how!
The other common block around this step is fear of making the “wrong” decision. But, really, if you stay true to yourself and learn from your mistakes, you can’t make a “wrong” decision. It’s all just information. If you set a goal that doesn’t make you happy in the end, that’s OK. It’s just information to help move you forward.
Trust the impulse of your desire! Set your intention and GO FOR IT.
Here are some questions to consider:
If you weren’t afraid of what other people would think about what you want, what do you want?
If you knew that anything was possible, what would you create? What is your impossible dream?
If you weren’t waiting until you knew how, what would you create with your life?
What feelings do you most want to experience?
One your deathbed, how do you want to feel about the life you lived? And what does that tell you about what you want?
Step Two: Commit
A lot of folks think that deciding and committing are the same thing. But, in my experience, they really are two different “energies.”
You can decide something without being committed to it and you can also be committed to something without having consciously made a decision about it. Let me show you what I mean.
When you decide to manifest what you want, the alchemical process is activated. And that means that all of the blocks that are in the way are going to “come up” for healing. If you “give up” when that happens, you aren’t actually committed.
Commitment means that you are willing to navigate the messiness of transformation. It means that you are willing to show up for yourself, even when it feels challenging or hard.
Your commitment means you are ALL IN. It means that will keep moving towards your desire, no matter what happens.
So, that’s how you might have decided what you want without also making a commitment. Now, let’s look at how you might be committed to something without consciously deciding it.
One of the things I’ve seen happen, both in myself and in others, is being completely committed to other people’s ideas, thoughts, values, and beliefs.
For example, you might be committed to a set of religious beliefs and doctrine because it’s what your parents, caregivers, or community taught you. Or you might be committed to a certain line of work because you were convinced that “being realistic” was more important than doing work that is meaningful to you. In either case, you didn’t consciously choose the commitment, you inherited the commitment from others.
That isn’t a reason to blame others for your place in life. Blaming others (or yourself!) isn’t helpful.
What is helpful, though, is the awareness that we are often committed to things that don’t really serve our true desires. It is an invitation to take a look at your life, question your decisions and commitments, and start making them consciously, instead of by default.
Here are some questions to consider:
What are you committed to? Did you make that commitment consciously or unconsciously?
Do your current commitments represents your true desires?
Are you willing to pursue your desire even if it means you’ll have to face your worst fears and darkest shadows?
How have your unconscious commitment gotten in the way of what you truly desire?
How can you express your commitment to your desire?
Step Three: Choose
As you move forward in the process to manifest what you want, you will face scenarios where you can choose to live in accordance with what was or with your desire.
A common example in the folks I work with is around the topic of boundaries.
They might decide it’s time to set boundaries and even be committed to setting boundaries, even when it gets messy and uncomfortable.
That doesn’t mean that everyone in their life is going to love their new boundaries. In fact, if someone has been benefiting from your poor boundaries, they probably won’t like it at all!
So, they may call you a bitch. Or tell you that you’re being selfish. Or that they don’t like what you’ve become.
In fact, they will probably show you every single one of your shadows.
And, when that happens, you still must choose to honor your boundary, even though other people feel upset.
You have to think about what a person who already has what you want would do. And then, do that.
Like I said at the beginning of this post, all of the steps to manifest what you want may require some healing. And this is the step where the most intense healing period is likely to occur.
This is how you make it real! By choosing it.
And if it feels “hard” to choose it, you heal whatever is blocking you from making the choices that are aligned with your desire.
Here are some questions to consider:
What obstacles do you imagine you might face along the way?
How will you overcome those obstacles? How will you choose your desire?
What actions will you take towards your desires?
What do you need to heal or let go of in order to choose to live in integrity with what you most want?
Who do you need to become in order to achieve your dreams?
Step Four: Celebrate
I’ll admit, if I would have come across a post similar to this one a few years ago, I would have glossed over this step. Because, in all honestly, celebrating didn’t seem “essential.”
But, what I know now, that I didn’t know then is that celebration is one of our universal needs as humans.
If we don’t celebrate, we’ll always feel like something is missing, even if we’ve accomplished everything we ever wanted.
By celebrating, we actually RECEIVE the gifts of our desires; we allow ourselves to feel the feelings of having what we want.
When we celebrate, we come to a natural sense of gratitude and appreciation for ourselves, our allies and most trusted tools, and the very essence of life.
And here is the most fascinating part:
When we ignore our need for celebration, we’ll hop from goal to goal, wondering why we never feel satisfied.
Celebrating is what actually empowers us to DECIDE what we want going forward. It’s how we assimilate, integrate, and move forward from wholeness. It shows us what’s next.
Celebration completes the cycle.
The problem is that, culturally speaking, we’ve been conditioned to believe that celebrating “the little things” is pointless. Or that appreciating ourselves or “bragging” makes us “bad” people.
So, I’m definitely not surprised when my students and clients tell me about their resistance to celebrating. Healing that resistance is often a big part of the process.
And when we do allow ourselves to celebrate, we start the whole process all over again.
It’s a beautiful thing, really.
Here are some questions to consider:
Have you ever considered that ignoring your need for celebration could be holding you back?
Are there things in your life that you haven’t celebrated?
Do you know how to celebrate without also causing harm to yourself? (Such a drinking, drugs, overeating, etc.)
How might you celebrate in a way that honors your whole self?
Take a moment to imagine your dream coming true. How will you celebrate?
At the end of the day, I have no doubt that you CAN manifest what you want.
Yes, it will show you your wounds. It will show you where you feel broken. It will show you where you have fears, and doubt, and shame, and guilt, and blame, and resentment.
But as you manifest what you want, you also heal those things.
You let them go. You no longer let them define you or your capabilities. You use them as fuel for the fire of your soul.