I’ve been a “worrier” for most of my life.
I’ve worried about what other people thought of me.
I’ve worried about the size of my body and my health.
I’ve worried about money and how the bills would get paid.
I’ve worried about the planet, social justice, and the state of our world.
I’ve worried about it ALL.
Worry. Worry. Worry.
And, quite frankly, I hated that about myself for a really long time.
Now, I love that part because over time, I’ve started to see inner worry wart as a gift.
Yes, that’s right — a gift.
For a good portion of my life, the worry would manifest itself as over-eating, binge drinking, drugs, people-pleasing, over-working, and, my personal favorite, over-empathy.
And it seemed like if I could “just stop” worrying, then I’d be all good.
But, yeah, it doesn’t quite work like that.
What that “just stop” mindset actually does is CREATE shame because our energy, as humans, doesn’t work that way. So, when we can’t “just stop,” we beat ourselves up and pile shame on top of the worry.
I had to find another way.
And that way was shadow integration work.
When you dive deep into your shadows with grit and grace, you will find the light, the gift, the Truth of Who You Really Are. It can only be that way.
In the case of my inner worry wart, shadow work showed me that when I’m worrying, I’m not trusting my own inner guidance – that still small voice inside of me that KNOWS my Truth – and I’m likely covering it up with a lot of external “noise.”
It’s a clue that I’m living in the past, projecting into the future, or just plain trying to be someone I’m not.
And, OMG, how helpful it is to be able to SEE and FEEL when I’m doing that. Worry is SHOWING ME every single time.
And you can only HEAL what you can SEE.
From that recognition, I can “catch myself sooner” as my friend Karen C. L. Anderson would say. I can take the time to get really quiet, empty out my aura, and LISTEN to my inner wisdom. I can bolster my practices of doing that in moments of worry AND proactively for my future self. And I can forgive myself for all those years spent worrying.
The worry becomes an entry point into Insight, Truth, and Miracles.
That’s the beauty of radical self-acceptance and shadow work. It’s ALL a gift if you’re willing to SEE it that way.
And you can’t get there when you’re trying to get rid of your parts.
You can only do it by meeting those parts without judgment, with love and forgiveness, and letting them guide you into their wisdom and gifts.
So, for real, give yourself the space to contemplate what the gifts hidden inside your shadows are.
It will be worth it, I promise.