It’s no secret that if you want to make epic shit happen in your life, you’ve got to believe in yourself. When you believe in yourself and your power to create change in your life, you are unstoppable.
But, if you are like a lot of my clients, you’re swimming in a sea of self-doubt, people pleasing, and you’re not really sure HOW to believe in yourself.
No worries, my friend, I got you.
I’m going to give you the low down on how to believe in yourself so that you can go out there and make your dreams real.
A Quick “Believe In Yourself” Vocabulary Lesson
People often say that words matter but in my experience its the energy under the words that matter. Language is just a tool we can use to express energy. So, I want to start with a quick vocabulary lesson for some of the words I’ll be using in this post.
As you read through the definitions, know that I am not saying that everyone in the world (including Webster!) will agree with me about these definitions. Instead, these definitions capture the energy of the words for me and that helps me to work with the words in empowering ways.
So, without further ado, here are the definitions.
faith /fāTH/ noun
choosing to believe in something when there is no evidence to support it
trust /trəst/ verb
acting on faith
con·fi·dence /ˈkänfədəns/ noun
knowing that you will be able to handle anything that happens
be·lieve /bəˈlēv/ verb
accepting something as true because you have evidence to support it
be·lief /bəˈlēf/ noun
a thought that you think over and over again and interpret as true
Ok, now that you understand what I mean when I use these particular words, let’s translate those definitions into practical tools to believe in yourself.
How to Believe in Yourself and Your Dreams
Despite what you may be hoping, believing in yourself isn’t a one and done adventure. You don’t just wake up and magically believe in yourself.
Like self-love, self-acceptance, and, basically, anything personal growth, believing in yourself is a practice. As you deepen into your practice, you will start to “get it” at even deeper levels.
With believing in yourself, my experience has taught me that we go through four distinct phases, similar to the alchemical process of transformation, by understanding which stage we are in determines which tool we need to use.
So, as I lay out these phases, I want you to consider a big goal or dream that you have and think about which stage you are in and then apply the tools in your life.
Phase One to Believe In Yourself: Faith
I get emails almost every day, from lovely souls all over the world, telling me about their dreams and, then, asking me how they can believe in themselves enough to make those dreams happen.
Like I said at the beginning of this post, believing in yourself is mission critical in making your dreams come true.
But, as you saw from the definition that I shared, believing something is accepting something as true because you have evidence to support it.
So, the real question is:
How do you believe in something if you have no evidence to support it?
The answer is faith.
Faith is the doorway into belief.
If you wait until you have evidence to believe in yourself and your dreams, you won’t pursue anything!
Do you think that the guy who came with computers had evidence of computers? Of course not. Computers weren’t a thing yet. He started with FAITH.
And, you must start with faith, too.
You start with choosing to think that your dreams are possible, even though you don’t have a single shred of evidence.
The more you practice choosing faith, the evidence will start to build, and eventually, your faith will turn into a belief.
And you do that by redirecting your mental focus and attention to your dreams and your intentions.
For me, it helps me to remember that my dreams are Divine gifts. God (Source, The Universe, Creator, Whatever You Call It) only gives us dreams that we have the power to grow into.
That may not be the thing that helps you shift but, whatever will help you refocus is what I recommend you do.
Now, hear me when I say this: shifting your focus doesn’t mean that you ignore or resist any contrasting feelings. You still need to feel your feelings; you just don’t let those feelings dictate your actions.
Phase Two to Believe In Yourself: Trust
Speaking of action, its the next phase in believing in yourself!
Once you connect with your faith and start thinking that you CAN make your dreams real, it’s time to take action that is in integrity with your faith. That’s what I call trust.
For example, let’s say that you have a dream to start an business online.
But, you doubt that you’ll be able to do it because you aren’t very tech savvy and you don’t even know where to begin.
When you have faith in yourself and your dream, you won’t let those fears hold you back from taking action. Instead, you’ll break it down into the tiniest steps possible and ask for help when you need it.
You’ll stay focused on your dream. And, more importantly, you’ll be willing to figure things out and learn from your mistakes and failures.
Phase Three to Believe In Yourself: Confidence
One of the things I see happen to so many folks is that they use their mistakes and failures as evidence that they shouldn’t believe in themselves and their dreams.
And, let me tell you, my friend, that is a no-go. There are no benefits to thinking that mistakes and failures prove anything about your abilities.
Mistakes and failure are always a part of the process.
And that is where confidence comes in.
When you know that you can handle anything, including the feelings that might come along with mistakes and failure, you will keep going.
Confidence isn’t about knowing the outcome; it’s knowing that you’ll have your own back no matter what. Confidence is knowing that the worst thing that can happen is a feeling and that you can “do” any feeling.
The more feelings you are willing to feel, the more action you will take, and, eventually, you will start getting results.
Phase Four to Believe In Yourself: Belief
This final phase is the “promised land” that everyone is looking for. It’s the phase when evidence is starting to build, and it starts to become easier to believe in yourself. At this point, you might even start going after even bigger dreams and goals because your thoughts will be that you can make things happen.
Most folks want to skip right to this part. But, for real, it just doesn’t happen that way. You’ve got to go through the first three phases.
You’ve got to align your thoughts, and mental focus with your dreams BEFORE the evidence starts showing up. And you’ve got to follow that focus up with action. And through that action, you’ll build confidence. And all along the way, you’re developing the skills necessary to believe in yourself.
See how that works?