This rant is specifically for Human Design Projectors. But, since all types work together and it is super helpful when we understand how the other types work, it will be beneficial for everyone to read.
With that said, let’s get on with the show.
When I first learned that I was a Human Design Projector and that I needed to “wait for the invitation,” it made complete sense to me.
It was actually a relief because I had learned “the hard way” that giving unsolicited advice was a recipe for bitterness and burnout.
If I had a nickel for every time I’d given someone guidance, asked deep questions, or given straight-up advice, only to have that guidance rejected, I’d be rich as fuck. Like, Oprah levels of rich.
So, when I learned about this strategy, it only made sense to experiment further with what waiting for an invitation actually means.
As time and experience have progressed, I’ve refined the process of waiting and knowing which invitations are “correct” for me. I feel projector success most of the time and rarely feel bitter.
This is a miracle because I literally used to think that I’d die a bitter old lady; I often joked that I was the wise crone healer dying on the edge of town.
It’s something I am sure I’ll keep refining but, overall, waiting for the invitation has been incredibly empowering for me.
But, that isn’t the case for many Projectors.
Many Projectors see the typical explanations of the invitation and think that means they are just supposed to sit around and keep their mouths shut. They think they are waiting for an engraved invitation to arrive from Hogwarts before they can do anything in their lives.
When projectors are growing up, we are often told things like:
Just keep your mouth shut.
Sit there and be quiet.
Stop asking so many questions.
Speak when you are spoken to.
In time, we become conditioned to believe that our curiosity, our genuine interest, and our ability to express what we see in other people is a problem.
As projectors, we drill down into the G center of the other and get to the heart of whatever is happening very quickly. We are lightening fast at “diagnosing” where energy isn’t flowing to its highest potential. We can see people’s gifts and where they are out of integrity with their energy.
We see potential and possibility everywhere we look.
So, when we are told to wait for an invitation, it can feel like a confirmation that those gifts aren’t valuable. It can come across as proof that you really should just sit in the corner and be quiet.
And that just isn’t true.
The first thing I am going to say about that is this (and this applies to everyone):
If ANY explanation about your design comes across as disempowering, limiting, or like it will make your life “smaller” in some way, it isn’t a correct interpretation FOR YOU.
It doesn’t matter if it’s from someone who is “well-respected” by the HD Fundamentalists (eye roll).
It doesn’t matter if it’s the most popular HD account on Instagram.
It doesn’t matter if Ra Uru Hu himself visits you in your dreams and gives you a seven-hour dissertation on your design.
It doesn’t even matter if it’s me.
If it feels “too small”, it is.
If it feels too small, it is.
We live in an expansive Universe. Everything on this planet has a deeply embedded imperative to grow and expand.
And the way things “land” in our body is a clue, revealing where our opportunities for expansion are.
Of course, that doesn’t mean everything needs to “feel good” in our bodies.
In fact, often, the most empowering truths in our lives will land with a bit of a sting. But, even with that sting, it will ring loud with the truth of empowerment.
So, back to this whole projector invitation thing.
When you see something that implies that, as a projector, you should be sitting in a corner and not expressing yourself, stop believing that bullshit. It is not fucking true.
You are made of magic and have incredible guidance and wisdom to offer this world.
Instead, I invite you to consider these thoughts about the invitation (how meta!):
#1. Waiting for the invitation is FOR YOUR Success, not for the other person’s comfort.
The way it is often portrayed is that it is so uncomfortable to be in the presence of an “uninvited projector.” People say that projectors should wait so that others don’t feel uncomfortable around them.
But, that is some co-dependent bullshit right there.
If someone doesn’t like your guidance, they have free will and can walk away. Their discomfort is their responsibility, not yours.
You, my dear projector, are not here to make people feel comfortable. You are here to share what you see and what you see isn’t always going to be roses and butterflies.
You are here to lead people, organizations, and systems to their highest potential.
And that shit is uncomfortable as fuck.
In fact, when you are truly invited by someone, they will APPRECIATE the discomfort that comes up in your presence.
They will seek you out just for the discomfort. They will know that discomfort is a natural part of their expansion. They will pay you money for “making them” uncomfortable.
So, when you are thinking about the invitation, remember that it’s about your success.
You cannot create success in your life if you are wasting your leadership, vision, and guidance on people who aren’t ready, willing, or able to receive it. The invitation is FOR YOU.
#2. The invitation does not need to be formal because it is energetic.
Listen, I know that the “official” Human Design stance on the invitation is that it needs to be formal.
But, again, I call bullshit.
As a Projector, we can sense the invitation. It is so fucking naive to think otherwise.
There is an energetic openness that happens the moment our aura comes into contact with someone who recognizes us and wants our guidance.
The aura of the other welcomes the penetration.
It opens. It softens. It relaxes. It envelops.
It gets juicy, wet, and lubricated with anticipation.
Just like a person with a vagina who is ready to be penetrated by their partner. It can’t be faked.
When the invitation isn’t there, it feels like running into a brick wall.
It’s dry. It’s resistant. It’s tight and closed off.
A lack of invitation also cannot be faked.
You can sense it either way.
And here is the real kicker:
It might have all the “formal” signs of an invitation. Someone could directly ask you for your advice and guidance. They could even pay you buckets of money under the guise that they want your guidance.
But without that energetic opening, it isn’t an invitation.
So, trust that sense of openness. If you feel that, there is an invitation. And if you don’t, there isn’t.
If you aren’t sure, keep waiting.
When the invitation is there, it WILL become obvious AF at a certain point.
(Keep in mind that this sense of openness is completely different than just thinking that someone wants your help.)
#3. Waiting for the invitation is SPECIFICALLY about guiding and creating deeper intimacy with others.
All of the human design strategies are for the purpose of engaging with the world and sharing our energetic gifts with others.
For a projector, that means sharing its deep penetrating vision and guidance with people, organizations, and systems. It’s about what you can see in the other and the intimacy required for being seen that deeply.
If a decision in your life isn’t about what you can see in the other, offering guidance, or creating intimacy you don’t need an invitation to do it.
(see my point below on the word need!)
You don’t need an invitation to start or market your business.
You don’t need an invitation to share what is happening in your life.
You don’t need an invitation to go shopping or make dinner.
You don’t need an invitation to move to a different location (if you are moving alone).
You don’t need an invitation to explore your curiosities and follow your interests.
If it’s about you and you alone, you do not need an invitation.
I think this gets very confused because we live in a Generator world.
The generator IS responding to literally everything in their world. They are either (metaphorically or literally) moving toward something or moving away from something.
Their strategy is about how they use the precious resource of their sacral energy and contribute that energy to the world.
But projectors aren’t responding to everything and we aren’t contributing life force energy. We are guiding life force energy.
We are sensing openness to give direct guidance to ONE person, organization, or system so that they can reach their highest potential.
And brushing your fucking teeth isn’t about others reaching their highest potential.
You can, of course, experiment with only ever doing anything that comes with an invitation but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that won’t go very well. You will literally be dying in the corner with your mouth shut.
When you have guidance to offer someone, it’s best to give it to those that have the energetic openness I talked about in that last point.
Otherwise, when it comes to your own life, do whatever your inner authority tells you to do.
#4. You don’t actually “need” an invitation.
I know this one is the one that will ruffle the most feathers. Because a lot of the language in the world of human design tells people that they “must” or “should” or “need to” follow their strategy.
But, it’s a strategy.
Strategy | noun | /ˈstradəjē/
: a plan of action or policy designed to achieve a major or overall aim
Nowhere in that definition is the word only. Or rule. Or law.
Can following your Human Design strategy help to create more ease, flow, and synchronicity in your life?
Absolutely. From my perspective in all of my years of experience in energy healing, coaching, and magic, it’s the best way.
But, news flash, even if you don’t follow your strategy, the worst thing that can happen is a feeling.
If someone gets pissed at you for giving unsolicited advice and then they “cancel” you on the internet, the worst part about that is what you will make it mean about yourself. And the feelings that will come up with you think those things about yourself.
Maybe you will feel shame. Or embarrassment. Or, God forbid, bitter.
But if you aren’t afraid of those feelings and you have the capacity to navigate them with Grace, you can do anything.
(I give you the tools for that in the toolbox that comes with your map.)
Confidence doesn’t come from knowing that things will go a certain way. It comes from knowing that you can handle whatever happens.
Even if you perfectly follow your strategy, things will still go to shit sometimes.
Your strategy reduces resistance and increases flow.
But it does not somehow teleport you to some other planet where contrast and duality don’t exist.
We live in a dualistic reality. We experience a full range of things here on Earth. We aren’t meant to be skipping through fields of flowers with rainbows and unicorns all the time.
We are meant to experience it all.
From the most awe-inspiring stories to the most horrific tales of tragedy.
We are here for ALL OF THAT.
How do I know?
Well, because, if Earth were meant to be sunshine and butterflies all the time, it would be.
In the words of Bryon Katie, when you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time.
We can’t escape the dualistic nature of our reality.
We can only learn how to play the game and play it well.
So, no, you don’t “need” to do anything. You can do whatever you want.
And your strategy of waiting for the invitation is just a single plan of action from the infinite possibilities.
Test it out and see how it works in your life.
Does it create more ease, flow, synchronicity, and success?
Keep doing it.
Does it create more resistance, stuckness, not moving forward, and bitterness?
Stop. Try something else.
That’s literally it. You can handle it, either way.
As a projector, you are here to be a powerful guide that leads others to their highest potential.
You are in good company with people like Barack Obama, Nelson Mandela, Princess Diana, and Liz Taylor.
Trust what you see. And value it by only giving it to those who are open to it. Follow what feels like success.