When you are working towards your dreams and goals, inevitably, you will face some obstacles along the way and you might even wonder if the Universe is testing you.
But it’s not a test. It’s just how transformation works. You just need to know how to move forward.
Here is a question I got from a reader that you might be able to relate to:
I recently decided that I wanted to start looking for a new job in a different field. What I am doing now just isn’t very satisfying to me on any level and I am really ready for a change. The moment I decided this, I was called into my boss’s office and told that I am getting a raise.
It feels like the Universe is testing me or like some sort of sign that I am not supposed to pursue something different.
It seems like this happens almost every time I want to start something new and it really discourages me. Am I just destined to not make any changes in my life?
Answer: In my late twenties, I met and fell in love with a man named Tom.
In the beginning, things with Tom were HOT. You know, that can’t keep your hands off each other, just want to have sex ALL THE TIME, kind of hot. It was the most passionate relationship I had ever had.
But, as the roots of the word passion suggest, the heat burned out pretty quickly and parlayed into the most suffering I have ever felt in a relationship.
We eventually had a very messy break because of some personal issues that required him to move across the country.
And oh boy, did I pine away for him. Way longer than I like to admit. I had fantasies about our reunion and even wrote him letters comparing him to Mr. Big.
It was wearing me out and, in my mind, no other man would ever compare to him.
About two years after our break up (yes, I was still pining away at that point!), I went camping at the lake for a week. I spent lots of time in nature and reconnected with myself in a way that I hadn’t in a long time.
On that trip, I decided that I was done and I was ready to move on.
I knew that I wanted, needed, and deserved better.
I wanted someone who genuinely cared about me and my needs. So, I set an intention to find lasting love.
A few days later, I met Mike and a couple years later, he became my husband.
Which sounds pretty awesome, right? Set an intention and then, boom, it arrives.
Well, not so fast.
A couple of months into my relationship with Mike, I got a random email from Tom.
Like, for real, it was so random. He forwarded me an article that had absolutely nothing to do with me or our previous relationship.
I was surprised to see his name in my inbox and was curious.
So, I replied and asked him what was up with the random article.
He replied back and told me that he wanted to talk to me but didn’t know what to say, so, he forwarded the article hoping I’d reply.
He told me that he was moving back to Virginia and he wanted us to get back together.
I felt so torn. I thought FOR SURE that the Universe was testing me.
I ran through all of the typical doubt in my head.
Maybe I wasn’t “supposed to” be with Mike after all. Maybe Tom WAS my Mr. Big after all.
But, when I reconnected with my intention and gave myself some space to feel my feelings, I knew that Mike was the man I was to marry. I knew that Tom was bad news.
And I knew that Maya Angelou was right:
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Today, Mike and I have been married for more than ten years. Our marriage isn’t perfect, of course, no relationships are. But when it comes down to it, our marriage is exactly what I need. It has helped me face my shadows and grow in ways I didn’t know I needed to grow.
This is what I wanted when I set that intention all those years ago and I am glad I didn’t pursue things with Tom again.
So, if you are wondering if the Universe is testing you, or if you are facing obstacles in the way of your goals, I want you to know this:
One of the things that can happen when we commit to an intention is that all the places need healing (aka your blocks), related to that commitment, start to show up.
In my case, with Mike and Tom, this played out in the form of self-doubt, my lack of self-trust, and some core beliefs that I wasn’t “meant” to have a healthy relationship. I had absolutely ZERO evidence to prove otherwise and when Tom showed up again, all of that history with men was subconsciously at play.
And through actively choosing to move forward with what I actually wanted, I’ve healed so many of those old wounds around romantic love and relationships.
So, no, dear reader. This isn’t the Universe testing you or “making sure” you really want what you say you want.
Instead, it is an opportunity to clearly see those old wounds, heal them, and then consciously make the choice to move forward in a way that is aligned with your deepest desires.
Ask yourself if staying in that job is in alignment with where you want to go in your career? Feel into it. Trust how it FEELS. If you get a yes, take the raise and celebrate. And if you get a no, take the raise anyway but keep pursuing your dreams.