When I first stumbled upon Human Design, one of the things that appealed to me the most was the idea that we each have an inner authority to “ensure” that we make “correct” decisions.
I’d been someone who deeply identified with making the “wrong” decisions all throughout my life.
I’ve been a drug addict. A binge drinker and eater. A smoker. I’ve slept around. I married “the wrong” guy and divorced after a couple of years. I’ve quit “good” jobs on a whim. And have done things that have gotten me fired from others.
The list of “terrible” decisions I’ve made in my life is absolutely endless.
So, it makes sense that my ego – the part of me that is deeply identified with being separate from the Divine – really wanted to get decisions right.
I thought that if I had some sort of formula, I’d start making better decisions. I thought that when I made better decisions, that Unicorns would begin flying through the rainbow-filled skies of my world. I thought that somehow, I’d be able to be more in tune with my purpose and that everything would be Golden.
But, as always, that’s just a story. The ego has simply forgotten.
We forget and remember.
And we forget again.
Trevor Hall – Bowl of Light
In Truth, there are no right or wrong decisions. There are only the decisions we make.
The only thing that makes a decision right or wrong is your story about it. Period.
And this is true, no matter what my beloved Human Design says.
For example, let’s say that you have emotional authority and are deciding whether to stay or go in a relationship.
When you have emotional authority, you will go through a series of thoughts and feelings (thoughts + feelings = emotions) about the relationship. This series of emotions is called the Emotional Wave in Human Design terms. And you won’t know how you really feel about the relationship until you’ve given yourself space to emotionally explore staying and going. (Have emotional authority and want more info? Get your WonderFULL Purpose Map.)
And, let’s say that after you’ve ridden the wave, you know that you don’t want to stay in the relationship.
But, let’s also say that you are someone who was conditioned to believe that loyalty is the most important “virtue” for a person to have and that you shouldn’t ever leave behind a relationship. Especially one that has been deeply committed, such a marriage, or it’s with someone who has really helped you out in the past.
And because you are afraid to be seen as disloyal (aka you have a shadow called disloyal), you decide to bypass your emotional authority and you stay in the relationship.
From a Human Design perspective, deciding to stay would be considered a “wrong” decision.
And, it’s important to be honest with yourself about that. You’ve bypassed your inner wisdom with your disempowering beliefs. Good to know.
But, beyond that, telling yourself you’ve made the wrong decision is rarely useful. Especially if it means you endlessly beat yourself up about it.
For most people, at least the folx that are drawn to my work, believing you’ve made the wrong decision creates guilt and shame >>>
Guilt and shame become fuel for self-hatred, buffering, and avoiding making any decisions at all >>>
Those types of disempowered actions create self-fulling prophecies >>>
Instead of learning from the decision and beginning to trust your inner wisdom, you just keep repeating these patterns.
It seriously doesn’t help you.
And, if we look at this from a spiritual perspective, there are no wrong paths.
You’re always living your purpose. You’re always doing your life right. Your life is going exactly as it is and it’s all happening for the revelation of your Divinity.
How do I know? Because it’s the path you’re on.
To believe otherwise is a hot track to suffering. And despite what self-sacrifice culture may have taught you, your suffering only contributes to suffering in the world. It does nothing to ease the suffering of others. It just amplifies the suffering.
So, while it is helpful to understand your Human Design authority for making decisions, it isn’t a reason to torture yourself about the decisions you’ve made in the past or the decisions you will make in the future.
What is most important is that you are using your Human Design as a doorway into understanding the wise guide that lives inside of you. And when you listen to the bullshit lies in your head instead, to use them as opportunities for polishing the mirror of your heart and seeing your Divinity.