Your shadow self holds the keys to overcoming people-pleasing, authentic decision-making, and embodying an aligned sense of purpose. Any “bad” habit you can’t break, part of your human design chart you resonate with but won’t apply, or dream you won’t pursue—your shadow self is the reason.
Your shadow is “holding” the energy you need to take aligned action. Every single time. Truly, everything you need to be satisfied, successful, peaceful and delighted already lives inside of you.
By unlocking your shadow and retrieving the energy it is holding, your most aligned life isn’t just possible — it’s inevitable.
As someone who has deeply studied, actively practices, and has had the privilege of guiding thousands of clients through shadow integration work, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that Human Design is the best tool for identifying shadows.
That’s one of the many reasons why Human Design captured my heart so quickly. What used to take years for someone to uncover was revealed in an instant. Getting to the heart of the matter has always been my jam. And using Human Design as a tool for deconditioning does that.
But, what I’ve discovered in integrating shadow work with Human Design is that many people are confused about what I am really inviting them into when I say “shadow.”
Culturally speaking, especially in spiritual or Human Design circles, it is commonly taught that anything you (or other people) don’t like is “the shadow.”
Perhaps you’ve learned that your “bad” behavior, your “not self” or your unpleasant emotions are your shadow. You might have even been taught that your shadow is your biggest “block” to alignment and that you need to get rid of your shadow. In the Gene Keys, that I deeply adore and have greatly benefited from, the low frequency expression of the gene keys (aka human design gates) are called the shadow.
With the term shadow being used in so many different ways, it’s no wonder that confusion is abundant.
To be clear, I am not saying that the way other people use the term shadow is “wrong.” What I am saying, though, is that in my world, I use the term shadow in a very specific way and to get the most benefit from my guidance, it will be helpful for us to be on the same page.
So, right out of the gate, I will say that banishing parts of yourself is never the solution. And, in fact, it’s the problem.
Dimming your light, hiding parts of yourself, and pretending to be someone you aren’t is why Human Design deconditioning is even necessary to begin with. All of those behaviors, while not your fault, is the how the shadow becomes a thing in the first place. And if you want to live your most aligned and purposeful life, it is your responsibility to heal it.
With all that said…
What is the Shadow Self?
The shadow self is the gateway into all of the things we – as humans – so deeply crave. Things like unconditional love, true belonging (instead of fake fitting in), radical authenticity, and unstoppable confidence.
The term “shadow self” was first coined by Carl Jung, a 2/4 Emotional Generator, born the Right Angle Cross of The Unexpected (31/41, 27/28). He was famous for his depth of study in the archetypes of the human experience – universal, symbolic patterns of personality – and the collective unconscious.
The He said, and I am paraphrasing, that your shadow parts are the archetypal aspects of yourSelf that are completely hidden from your awareness.
That is precisely why Human Design is so powerful. The gates in Human Design are all archetypes. When we know our Human Design gates, (or our Gene Keys), we are shining a spotlight on the archetypes we have often been conditioned to repress.
All that to say, when I am talking about your “shadow,” I am talking about the parts of yourself that are buried within the depths of your unconscious.
In fact, shadow parts are often so hidden from your awareness that you may currently believe that they only exist in other people. You may see these parts in others and hate, judge, or criticize them.
As Carl Jung so rightly said:
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
Until you bring your shadow parts into the light of consciousness, you aren’t away that it is a powerful resource within you. Shadow integration work dissolves the hate, the judgment, and the criticism – both towards yourself and others.
Two Types of Shadows
Now, to take this a layer deeper, your shadow self is not limited to archetypal traits that are considered “bad.” Your shadow parts are ANY part of the Self that has been banished to the realm of your conscious and rejected as your part of your unique individuation. So, whether you call it “good” or “bad” or something else entirely, a shadow is a shadow because of it’s hidden nature, not because of its moral assignment.
But, it is helpful to see the our shadows in the light of contrast. That is because the ego brain operates on duality. It likes to put things in categories of good, bad, right, wrong, holy, and evil. These distinctions create separation from the Divine and make the game of Divine Hide and Seek worth incarnating for.
What are taboo shadows?
“Taboo” shadows are the parts of the Self that were rejected from your consciousness because others judged them as wrong, bad, immoral, unethical, or otherwise shameful. Society would likely agree that you “shouldn’t” be these things.
But, despite those judgments, taboo shadows are not wrong or bad. Remember, right/wrong, good/bad, or holy/evil are ego constructs. In the eyes of the Divine, they are not real.
Taboo shadows are morally neutral; everyone has them.
You are everything. There is no thing that you are not.
They are called taboo because they are not deemed worthy in popular culture and embracing them will ruffle some feathers.
What are golden shadows?
“Golden” shadows are the parts of one Self that were rejected from your consciousness because they appeared to “outshine” others or triggered feelings of low self-worth in others.
In some circles, golden shadows might be considered prideful, boastful, or high and mighty. In other circles, you would likely be encouraged to “be more” of these things.
No matter how others judge these parts, golden shadows, like taboo shadows, are simply repressed parts of yourSelf. They are called golden because they are often aspirational and can be a potent key to our Creativity and purpose.
Whether golden, taboo, or somewhere in the middle, it is the fear or shame of expressing these parts that keep you stuck in people-pleasing, inauthentic decisions, and feelings of purposelessness.
Rejected shadow parts are the key reason you do or do not do what is aligned with your inner wisdom.
Are “Taboo” Shadows the same as “Low Frequencies”? And are “Golden” Shadows the same as “High Frequencies”?
The thing about language is that it’s a tricky beast. Mercury loves to fuck with us like that. We each have our own meaning of words and that meaning often comes with baggage. And it’s easy for us to assume we know what something means when actually, we are completely blinded by our own stories.
Which makes being a writer interesting. I am deeply aware that the language I use can easily be interpreted to means things I never intended. With Human Design Gate 62 in my unconscious sun, my way with words are my radiance and also my nemesis.
So, before we wrap this article up, I want to share an edited version (for clarity and context) of an answer I gave to someone about this very thing. She told me that she would have never gotten the depth of what I was saying with the frequency and shadow language had I not explained it this way.
My prayer is that it is meaningful and alchemical for you, too:
Taboo does not necessarily = low and golden does not necessarily = high. It might. And it might not.
Because…
low = high and taboo = golden
golden = low and taboo = high
golden = high and taboo = low
The energy is not different. They are the SAME energy directed in different ways.
This is the paradox of pure energy. It is the direction given to the energy that creates the frequency and how we perceive it.
The archetypes in the chart are PURE ENERGY. As mentioned, they are never moral judgments of right, wrong, good, bad, holy, and evil. Morals and ethics are stories of ego consciousness (aka the consciousness of being separate from that thing that some call God).
The words are simply tools to help you SEE the whole shape of the pure energy.
When we repress ANY energy, we repress the whole of it. You cannot become your most purposeful self without reclaiming the so-called negative parts.
If you only LOVE the parts of yourself that you call good, you only love your moral story, about who you are not the PURE ENERGY of who you are.
And without loving the whole of it, you can not accurately direct it.
You are not one or the other, you are both. And they are both the same.
Think of it like water. Water is energy; H2O.
Water can be directed in ways that foster growth and expansion or in ways that are destructive and depleting.
If your basement floods, water isn’t the problem. The way it was applied and directed was. The basement did not need 3 feet of water. But the way the land and building were designed, it allowed the water in, and, in fact, directed it in.
But, if you water your rosebush, beautiful flowers bloom because water was directed in a way that aligns with the needs of the bush. The roses do need water and directing the water hose or watering can in a directive way fosters that.
AND here is where it gets trippy.
A cranberry bog NEEDS a flood of water to be harvested and would never thrive with a sprinkling from a watering can.
So, it was never that “floods are bad and destructive” and “watering cans are good.” We aren’t talking about opposites.
It was about the application, the context, the consciousness. It was the direction given to the water.
All of these energies in the chart work the same way.
So, when we are looking at the opposites of golden and taboo, high and low, we are really just looking at mirrors of direction.
Let’s turn up the dial a bit with some extreme (and possibly triggering) intensity.
For context, the person I was talking to is a Manifesting Generator and we were taking about the mani gen taboo shadow of being a “door mat” or “people pleaser” and golden shadows of being “creative” and “impactful.” I used some of those words as an example for her.
Let’s say that you are being held at gunpoint and you have zero skills of self defense.
In that situation, being a people pleaser is in your best interest. And it is your nervous system that will decide that — not your conscious mind.
And your body will choose it because it is what will keep you safe. In the nervous system dialect, pleasing people is the fawn response.
That is how all shadows are created. They arise from the fawn response AKA when the expression of a pure energy is deemed unsafe, unacceptable, shameful, unworthy, wrong, or bad, etc. etc. etc.
And, just like in the nervous system, fawn is not bad. If someone has a gun to your head, if your body does not have the capacity to fight or flight, fawning is the RIGHT THING for your safety and wellbeing.
Remember that the words are symbols of PURE ENERGY. Exploring the opposites of taboo, golden, high, and low, helps us see the shape of the whole energy.
And what we are really doing here is gaining an understanding of aligned DIRECTION of that pure energy. In some situations, doormat is spot on aligned, and in others, creative is spot on aligned.
The reason doormat is taboo and creative is golden is because society has applied a moral judgment.
The whole pure energy has not changed, its direction has.
What we are doing here is reclaiming wholeness and consciously directing our pure energy.
What to “Do” with Shadow Aspects?
Once you are aware of a shadow, you now have a conscious choice of what to do with your energy.
My recommendation is that you recognize, love, and, most importantly, integrate it.
When you do these things, you reclaim all of the energy you were (unconsciously) using the hide those aspects and you can use that energy for your conscious intentions. And I mean that literally.
The energy you need to take aligned action is being held by your shadows, golden and taboo ones alike.
They are the key. Always.