A feeling of aversion or attachment toward something is your clue that there’s work to be done. ~ Ram Dass
You know how sometimes a certain idea or concept will begin manifesting itself in your outer world over and over again? And eventually, you start to recognize that you are experiencing a subtle form of synchronicity and that it might be time to pay attention?
Well, most recently, it has been the concept of attachment. It has been coming up everywhere in my life.
In the simplest of terms, attachment is when we BELIEVE that we depend on something outside ourselves to create an inner state.
And our Human Design can show us where that is happening.
Being attached can show up in a lot of different ways.
In relationships, it can look like blaming someone for how you feel.
With money, it might be seeing the amount of money you have as evidence of your “enoughness” or your “not-enoughness.”
It could be equating the size of your body with your lovability.
In business, it might show up as graspy-ness or neediness in your sales and marketing.
On social media, it’s desperation for likes.
No matter what forms our attachments show up in our lives, these attachments are one of the most significant ways we give our power away.
Because, in truth, we aren’t in control of the things that happen outside of ourselves.
We are not in control of other people’s behavior. Money is meant to flow in and flow out. Your lovability isn’t about you; it is always about the other person’s ability to love. You cannot force people to buy. And social media algorithms are always changing.
When your inner state DEPENDS on the world around you, you are endlessly fucked by the world, over and over again.
So, as Ram Dass says, our attachments become the signals of where our work is.
Our attachments show us where we are fucking ourselves (and not in a hot way), where we are giving our power away, and where we are surrendering in the “wrong” ways.
When we see our attachments that way, they become a tool in our toolbox.
And the good news is that our Human Design not-self themes are the blaring obvious indicators where we have attachments.
When you are experiencing your not-self theme:
Frustration for Generators.
Frustration and Anger for Manifesting Generators.
Bitterness for Projectors.
Anger for Manifestors.
Disappointment for Reflectors.
You are attached in some way or another, and that is so good to know, right?!?!
You cannot heal what you cannot see.
The key is being able to observe your attachments – with heaps of compassion – and allowing them to show you where you are giving your power away.
Here are some prompts to help you deepen that awareness.
Generators and Manifesting Generators, when you notice frustration:
Get curious about the way you are using your energy.
Are you doing things you LOVE doing WHILE you are doing them?
Or are you doing things because you think you should?
Projectors, when you notice bitterness:
Get curious about where you are sharing advice and guidance and how it is “landing” with the other person.
Do you need them to recognize you?
Are you desperate to be seen as deeply as you can see others?
If your guidance isn’t landing well, what are you making that mean about the value of your guidance?
Manifestors, when you notice anger:
Anger is an indicator that correct boundaries aren’t in place. Our boundaries are our values in action. Manifestors tend to hold strong values around distraction/interruption-free creativity because of the impact that their creativity has on the world.
Anger could be a sign that you are holding other people responsible for honoring your creative boundaries instead of being the person who has impeccable boundaries.
Reflectors, when you notice disappointment:
Get curious about your environment, the people you spend the most time with, and how the cycles of the moon impact your daily experience.
Do you enjoy your environment?
Do you love who you are when you are around certain people?
Do you honor your fluid identity?
For every one, as you explore these things, look a layer deeper and get curious about the deeper attachment.
What identity do you have bound up in how you show up?
Gens and Mani Gens might want others to see them as a hard worker.
Projectors might want others to see them as wise or insightful.
Manifestors might want others to see them as likable.
Reflectors might want others to see them as steady or stable.
What do you get to think and feel about yourself when others see you as that identity?
proud, confident, or joy.
The answer to this question IS the attachment.
What could you believe about YOURSELF, no matter what is happening outside, to generate those emotions on purpose?
I am doing a great job.
I can handle anything that comes my way.
Life is amazing, even with all of its ups and downs.
Then, get really curious about how you would show up if you were generating those emotions yourself and what actions you’d take from them.
That is how you let go of attachments.
You get real about where the attachment is, let go of needing it from outside of yourself, and begin creating it for yourself.
You’ve got this.